An uncomfortable position in concept
Today we are going to the markets for breakfast and then after our daughter's nap, to the beach for the biblical 'Last swim' with @galenkp. Tomorrow, they will be off on their journey back to Australia. @galenkp was writing that they are planning to come back 2020 and hopefully, they will be able to stay a little bit longer than a week.
Maybe, if we are lucky, we might be able to travel a little with them through Scandinavia and spend a few days exploring the region. It is much too hard at the moment and being away from home for more than a night is very difficult.
Our daughter @smallsteps is likely going to have some issues after they go as it is impossible to really explain to a 2 year old where her Uncle and Aunty are going. The concept of overseas and different countries just don't exist, which in itself is an interesting case.
There have been, are and will be so many battles fought over imaginary lines in the sand, concepts of mind, barriers put up that do not actually exist. It is these borders that are the harmful social constructs as they become focal points to keep people separated. This isn't of course just across land areas but also cultural groups. The sad thing is that they are inherent in the system and taught from a young age.
Talking with my brother yesterday about @smallsteps starting daycare reminded me that it was as my mother walked me through the playground to the front door on the first day, that I found out, I was black. Now, I am not really black considering I am half Indian and half European background but, for all intents and purposes, to those little four year olds, I was the darkest person they have ever seen. They definitely knew the 'right words' to express their knowledge.
The only way for them to have learned this is to have parents who have taught them and, since it seemed all knew the vocabulary, the parental lessons were commonplace. At that age, we are mirrors of our parents and while I didn't know I was coloured, others definitely knew it.
The thing is that no matter who I have met and what they have said, all have prejudices of various types and for various reasons. It may not be parental, it could be a bad experience with one member of a certain group and fro then on, that group gets labelled or, it could be a good experience.
People forget that we all have our dislikes and our preferences which guides the decisions we make. without knowing what we are actually basing our choices on, we go through the world and choose paths that are provided us through habitual likes and dislikes. This is why the algorithms of Social media can lead us into massive echo chambers of confirmation bias.
How to combat this? I don't really know but with our daughter, we are trying to expose her to all types of thinking and discuss things as fully as we can. It is uncomfortable at times as I recognise prejudices in myself as I consider how to present things to her.
This type of discomfort is good, it is not physical although there are likely physical indications. It is psychological discomfort based on learned concepts that in all likelihood, are not actually our own but rather, programmed through the words and prejudices of others without ever investing into finding out for ourselves.
It is a position made via proxy and accepted as our own and, we act upon them every day.
Taraz
[ a Steem original ]
Well bro, I understand you pretty well here. And I think I wrote a post three days ago which complement and illustrates a little bit further the lucid concepts that you are trying to convey on this post. Check it out! I promise you'll enjoy big time my little rant in there.
Cheers!! :)
Your daughter is beautiful. Look at all that hair. I hope you get to visit Scandinavia and I hope you have fun.
It's a challenge to teach our children to live without prejudices, specially because they aren't mature enough to understand not the life without prejudices but the fact that other parents aren't teaching the same to their kids. Definitely a challenge.
Hi taraz. it's weird what kids pick up from their parents. Guaranteed that is why we still have racial issues in South Africa. The kids haven't known racism but are already programmed that way. Have a good last day with your brother.
Hi @tarazk! I had a great time reading your post! I wish more people would start thinking in this manner and start questioning and challenging these notions of boundaries, colour, race, caste, nation, etc. Maybe then, we would have a world which would be much more tolerant, accepting, compassionate and beautiful.
It is so very true that we all have our own prejudices and biases that we, quite often, are not even aware of and we keep operating based on these.
I love what you are trying to pass on to your daughter:
"How to combat this? I don't really know but with our daughter, we are trying to expose her to all types of thinking and discuss things as fully as we can. It is uncomfortable at times as I recognise prejudices in myself as I consider how to present things to her."
I'll say I am not a open borders fan. It has nothing to do with racism. Most countries do have borders. Without borders there is nothing stopping a majority of people from any country coming into another country just because they are more prosperous and offer better opportunities. Over time there will be clogs in the arteries so to speak and opportunities will dwindle down to nothing. No country can support or survive from mass immigration into their system unabated, it just wouldn't work, it would take time to get to that point but in the end it would end up just as much a economic wreck as the countries they left.
You are right, racism is a learned behavior. I never brought my kids up distinguishing color. They never learned that skin color distinguishes us from one another, what distinguishes us is our character. There is the good, the bad and the ugly of the world and no one owns a franchise on any of that. My kids have had friends from all walks of life, that's much more an opportunity then my parents offered me. That's a lot to teach your kids coming from someone who practically grew up in fear of people of color. When I was a child I don't ever remember going to school or playing on a playground with children of color, now I watch my grand kids play with children from all backgrounds, when they run unto that playground the last thing they see is color, they are in joy to see other kids to play with.
I am not a fan of completely open borders either, my point is more about them just being conceptual lines in dirt subject to continual change.
It is and always will be the case. There is so much range in human nature but it is this continual negotiation that keeps us evolving. The children today will have vastly different experiences than we had as children.
Good piece man. We've touched on this a few times and I agree that kids should be taught to view those around them respectfully and to pay attention to what matters. She is lucky to have good and kind parents, it will give her a huge advantage in life. As for you and @galenkp, just two lucky mofo's with great tan, lucky bastards. Have a great day guys
Indeed :D
You daughter's very lucky to have a father like you, broad-minded, intelligent, striving for the truth, always looking over and beyond barriers and walls, while still considering which barriers and walls may have a value.
I can easily imagine that one danger for your daughter will be if she expects all men to be like you.
Since they aren't, she'll need to learn that hard lesson, or life will be a constant disappointment of "here's another person who doesn't live up to my father."
How to raise a child without jading them, yet raise a child ready for anything. It seems like a tough balancing act.
I plan on teaching her how to evaluate well (in my head at least) so that she can make her own decisions and live with them. I hope she eventually finds someone much better than me.
You really have an awesome 2 years old daughter and sure her nap its really worth the capture but the most important is for her to know what the society feels like and to be prepared for its outcome so she knows the path that's very much okay in life despite we all as humans has different point in view about what the society and its reality is like but sure thanks for bring out this wonderful pic and a tip about the society from your own point of view
Half Indian huh... I honestly never could tell.
I don't know how you still manage to come up with so many deep discussions Taraz; I know you responded a while ago but men, I lOK forward to your opinions everyday.
I thought it was obvious.... dear. :P
Thinking keeps the mind moving and hopefully, the feet too.