I have a stupid question about this:
The real me, I am yet to fully meet as to do so I must see past the emotional layers, the psychological boundaries and all of the various agendas I have to make sure that they are not blinding me from seeing myself.
What if all that is what actually makes up "you"?
rather they present a conflicted and confused me in the moment that has no place to speak for my future position, as it is insensitive to it and those it leaves in its wake.
Ahh so very true. Something I'm constantly trying to watch for but sometimes it's hard and you just WANT to let them have it (whoever they are for whatever they did). And then trying to teach this one to kids as well, when their feelings and emotions tend to feel so much bigger to them, often overwhelmingly so.
Constant work in progress :)
I think I will spend some time thinking publicly again
I like your thoughts when I catch them (even if I pretty much never say anything).
Well, I see that most of the emotional reactions are based on some kind of past programming that places a position marker. But, that programming likely was not installed by me but rather the environment I was raised in. The programming can be changed which in turn changes behaviour. It could be removed altogether too yet, I would still be 'me'.
I find it useful to write about these things. Helps me understand things more clearly. I need not actually post them to get benefits but, perhaps others find value also.