The relativity of hearing.

Do you ever think about your own hearing?

Like, how do you know that what you hear is what is being broadcasted, by whatever it is that it making the sound.
What if you just hear half of it? What if, it's a lot louder or maybe a different sound that you just can't make out. Of course, these are very solipsistic questions..and most people never think of them. For good reason: They are mind fucks!

I have a new aid that is suppossed to be a lot better than my old aid. What this means is relative though. Ever since I've moved to this new place I had this aid. It's nice and does the job but the way I hear is different. Yesterday I ran out of battery so I had to use the old one for the day. Here's when everything started to get freaky!

I enter the bedroom and the floors creaking with every step I take. I'm thinking:W T F: is this new?! But then I realize this is not new, my old aid just decided that I do not need to hear that sound so I don't! My experience of getting into the bedroom and the bed is EDITED by a device I bought and brought into my life. I do not want to get all black mirror here but how is this not a huge deal?
Is it good for me that I do not hear the floors? Do I think the place is better than it is? Does this help me in any way to hear better?!

I am not sure but the next question is: if you normal hearing hears the floor and I don't then our memory of this will be so totally different. I will enter the room with confidence while someone sleeps there, waking them up. They'll remember an asshole, I'll think nothing of it. My relationship will end by this and maybe - who knows?1 - maybe a lot other of these kind of things i'm not aware of!. That's scary. The ultimate fear; that you are not in control at all.

But you can even go deeper: do I speak like I think I speak? Am I too loud? How do you even know how to loud to be? There's no conscious effort to speak at a certain tone..is just the right tone, naturally.

The more you think about it, the weirder it gets. For hearing impaired people, the reality is essentially a tad different, a bit off. That's why maybe we are a bit too. Proudly? I am not sure, I did not chose this so what am I being proud of?!

Of course, we can say the same for everyone. We all have our filters that we do not even detect that affect our perception of reality. Our brains are built to modify, store and remember a variant of what happens that might have little in common with what actually happened. All behind our backs.

The difference is that I know this aid does it and maybe I can be more careful at times. Or maybe, people should prompt me more:That's too loud! Don't you hear that bear?!.

But then I'll get annoyed! Wtf are you telling me to talk how you want me to talk. You know what you got into when you decided to hang with me and seriously this is just.....

Raz died here eaten by a bear