Good Advice
As we enter a new year, many people adopt new resolutions- an aspect to improve ourselves. I think that's a great endeavor, self-improvement needs to be an ongoing activity, or at least a hobby, as we move forward through life. New Years can be a time of reflection and often family events over Christmas give people the opportunity to share with us how we are failing. (Which is captured perfectly in the concept of Festivus) Due to that I have some thoughts to share on seeking out good advice.
Everyone has opinions! There are even lots of disparaging sayings about people's opinions- "Opinions are like assholes". "Opinions are like feet" "Opinions are like orgasms". The list goes on. In my experience, people who tend to give advice the most often display lives that are rather messy. Rather than seek introspection and tackle their own problems they just know how to fix yours! Listening to them is a terrible idea.
In our society it is polite to listen thoughtfully to people's opinions. And quite frankly, that's a complete waste of time rather often. Should we take Relatioship advice from our coworker who is a player? Our cousin who just divorced for the 3rd time? Our parents who quite obviously just exists in a Relationship with each other because splitting up is too much trouble? Nope. We should be judicious in who we seek out advice from. We will have the best results if we seek out advice, thoughts and perspectives from people who are excellent at the topic at hand. Or at least people who have a lot of experience with a topic.
Listening to people give bad advice can be dangerous. We can empathize with their situation and that gives their thoughts more weight. If I want to sort out problematic finances, I can chat with other people who are struggling and feel solidarity. Paying off credit cards is hard, I feel you, brother! While discussing approaches with someone who is having a similar problem feels good, it isn't likely to bring about a better approach. Instead, seek out someone who has mastered finance. They are in a different place, for sure, but they occupy the place we wish to get to. They have been on the path and have seen what behaviors are most effective. We need wisdom, and wisdom seldom comes from people who are at a peer level in a given subject. Seek input from peole who rock at a thing if you want to rock it as well. Seek advice from people who are failing or struggling with a task if you also want to fail or struggle.
My last thought is to seek out new, different, even bizzarre approaches to self improvement. Us humanfolk are tribal and we often seek out material that supports our world view. It's why discussing marriage problems with someone else having marriage problems feels so good. In that moment those are your people, your tribe. We the same sort of thinking that created a problem is rarely going to solve that problem. We need to seek something new, something to change a perspective or offer a new approach or inspire us in a new way. That is the way forward to an improved place.
Good luck! Have a most excellent 2019.