--- Communication & Complying to Cultural/Societal Norms - Copious Thoughts - From Clayboyn's Coffee and Philosophy show Ep. 68 ---

Giddiest of ups to all who joined us for @clayboyn 's Coffee and Philosophy. on the much loved MSP Waves and P.A.L Discord Network. The recording of this particular show can be found here: Coffee and Philosophy Ep. 68.

This week we started out talking about communication and how we interact with one another. The fact that more than 90% of our communication is beyond the words themselves. Within that 90% is elements such as micro-expressions, body language, tone, inflection and much more.

Leading on from means of communication we moved into how we use this to deceive and mislead. While we may struggle to admit it to ourselves we are quite deceptive about our true feelings about things.

The deception is more than just between individuals, it also applies to ourselves. We step into the arena of denial and ignoring elements of our life which are distressing, This is a means of easing our minds and helping us sleep a little better at night.

When it comes to deception of others it can have a multitude of reasons, telling white lies to spare others feeling, calling in sick to work for a day off, manipulating others to do as we wish, Nigerian prince scams, etc.

Liar, Liar

At the other end of the scale we have Radical Honesty, often times it is grossly misused as a means of being cruel and aggressive towards others. The intention is to cut through the crap and 'white lies' we tell one another (and ourselves), so we spend less time doing things we dont want to do purely out of courtesy.

In the recording f the live show i mention the 'nanas cookies analogy', this is referred to from a previous article i had written on Radical Honesty available here

Here we get to lean on the cultural and societal norms which dictate what is polite and acceptable behavior while interacting with others. We are often encouraged to deceive in this way and it is framed in a way which makes it acceptable to do so.

The Office

The problem is that through this form of interaction we can end up in situations which we do not like, do not want, and ultimately can cause large amounts of unwanted, and unnecessary, stress and discomfort.

This tends to be related to the lack of congruence of the self and a feeling of forced autonomy. these kinds of sentiments can also be felt towards the attainment of material possessions, status, and perceived life progress.

When we find ourselves chasing dreams and attaining them, but somehow feel the victories are hollow... it may be a sign we are not chasing 'our dreams', but ones which have been dictated to us.

At the point of this realization it may be a good time to re assess ones life journey and the direction being taken.

Rich & famous

Success is often something projected upon us, and it is also attributed to being happy. However, there are many individuals who have risen to the top of their field, become famous, rich, had abundance in their lives... and yet they still feel unfulfilled, hollow, empty inside.

Again we can lean on societal and cultural norms to dictate what success is, but what we need to realize is that success is quite subjective on an individual level.

When we understand that we define our own happiness, complying with societal/social norms becomes less of a priority. We can let go of what no longer serves us, and gravitate to a more congruent self.

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All this and much more is covered on the recording of the show, so if it is of interest i strongly recommend checking it out and if why not tune in for the live recording link below ;)

• Show recording: Coffee and Philosophy Ep. 68.

• Show Schedule: MSP Waves

• Discord Link: P.A.L Discord Network.