How to survive a breakup with a loved one?

in philosophy •  4 months ago

Nothing is eternal, including relationships, even if they are for love. But how to survive a breakup with a loved one, if everything happened so suddenly.

"Suddenly" is nothing

The very first thing to realize and understand is necessary. If he decided to leave, then the relationship in some way did not suit both. Just a woman always tries to keep them at any cost, and the man –the experimenter. That's why he often goes first.

You also need to understand that no one and nothing should, and in General, there are no halves, because we are all full-fledged people without any halves, which means that we can live with a person only as long as these relationships are comfortable for both in a couple. Further – no need for painful, and, therefore, unproductive and this is not love. Yes, people with a love addiction can converge and diverge many times, at the same time, with each attempt the relationship will be worse and worse, but this is not love, but a disease. Why let it happen? If it is impossible for you to live without someone, then something is dysfunctional in your soul and psyche.

Dot

This punctuation mark will help you to survive the pain of separation. Just take it as it is and let your partner go if you love. Recognize his right to freedom. Perhaps, you will be pushed by fate again in years, but then you will be better and more perfect, and therefore your relationship will be more perfect. But this then, and until are looking for themselves, not half and let the same to do former partner.

You can remove his phone number and remove from the list of friends. The main thing is not to try to return it and leave hope for return. Not to humiliate himself. There is a new life behind the point.

We drive away all obsessive thoughts

In many crisis situations, we do not suffer from the situation itself, but rather from obsessive and false thoughts about the situation. Understand that these thoughts are our enemies. Sometimes among the recommendations on how to better survive a breakup with a loved one, come across tips to escape etc. But that is the same as to dance in front of the enemy lezginka or turn away from him, armed. No, you need to keep track of these thoughts and the first time to dive into them completely, and then – change to positive and just do not let in your head.

Such hostile thoughts include those associated with self-pity, despondency, fear ("I will not love anyone else", "well , I will do without it"), thoughts about the former partner or who separated him, as well as aggression directed at himself (" he left because I am a loser"). What to do? Forgive yourself and your partner for your mistakes. And yet-to thank fate for the experience. And the main thing is to be sure that the negative experience will not be repeated and will not be needed.

What not to do

Pursue and endlessly sort things out. Do not break the phone of an ex-partner and do not guard him on the street. If you really want him to come back, do not leave behind a negative. Yes, and the self-esteem everywhere take with you.
Revenge. From the same series as the previous error. Such actions will only convince the former half of the correctness of the decision.
To cherish his grief and to withdraw into the four walls. No, it is necessary to live and suffer, but it is better to complain to one friend than to hundreds of friends on the social network. Just know that if one door is closed, the other, the more interesting, is about to open.
Stop taking care of yourself. No comment. The body you have one, so even after parting continue to eat properly and exercise, go to a beauty salon, etc.
Also, do not tell anyone nasty things about an ex-partner or start a new relationship. They're still good are not, and thus, a new disappointment and a new separation, and perhaps a wounded soul who wanted to be with you.

What to do

Throw out your emotions. You are the snow Queen and not deadpan macho, so they can shed tears, cry, crying the other's shoulder, etc. So the wounds of the soul heal faster. The main thing-not too long to do it, otherwise it will become a habit. Do you like being a whiner?

Distract. No, we do not hit hard and do not turn away from the enemy, and live a full life – work, interesting and unusual activities, friends, parties.

Experiment. Girls are better to experiment with appearance, men-with the situation in the apartment and cooking.

Create. When you had a couple, you didn't have enough time for music, poetry or dancing. In it, the moment when you can invest in your art new emotions. There are many of them now, but from the negative creativity will definitely distract.

Help those in need. You can not even go to boarding schools or hospitals, but simply take your grandmother to the theater, help an elderly neighbor, entertain a friend who has no personal life at all.

We're going on a trip. Change the situation is always necessary, but if it's winter and not enough money, it can be just a walk out of town in the woods. If it is already warm-it's time to go to the sea. Change of situation is a strong energy supply.

Do not give yourself the opportunity to be unhappy

Even if it's lonely now, you should be happy. Self-pity and being stuck in your grief is a sign of immaturity. A Mature and healthy person is unlikely to suffer for a long time. In addition, your tears are not necessary to anyone but envious and enemies. Don't give them a reason to be happy and remember that someone always needs you. Give yourself to this person, and not grief and loneliness!

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Nice read. I leave an upvote for this article thumbsup