Inside Out - The Only Way To Get The Kind Of Life You Want

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I have been reading “The Seven Habits Of Highly Successful People” by Steven R. Covey for a while. One of the things I have learnt is the inside out principle. Actually, Covey doesn’t present it as a principle but I think it is. When followed, this “principle” will give the kind of life a person wants - he only needs to follow it.

The Need For The Inside Out Principle

Before I explain how the Inside Out principle works, allow me to whet your appetite a little bit. I want you to think of a major change you want in your life. It can be anything - from time management to handling relationship crises or even your self-esteem. It could be that you want to be able to understand yourself better or perform more effectively in your workplace. Whatever you come up with, hold that in mind as we continue this exercise.
Now, you will realise that as you contemplate on your wishes, you can almost immediately thinking of ways to achieve them. If you want people to like you more, for instance, you might conclude that smiling more, being sensitive and doing things other people like are going to help. Definitely, those are going to help - but only temporarily.
Rather than focus on quick fix approaches that only deal with our personality, the Inside Out principle is about cultivating habits and character traits. For instance, in the example of making people like you more, the inside Out principle demands that you first work on yourself - not on others, not on your need for others to like you more but on your character, on your perspective to life, on your overall self.

What Is The Inside Out Principle (And Why You Need It)

As I said earlier, the Inside Out principle is focused on character. But is it is more than that. It is built on the paradigm principle.
The paradigm principle states that our entire lives, thoughts, words and actions are based on what we perceive in our world and how we interpret what we perceive. In few words, our perception defines our lives; it is what makes us who we are.
As such, the Inside Out principle is focused on changing ourselves from the inside out. Rather than just pursue wishes and dreams suing popular quick fix approaches, we must slowly identify our underlying perceptions and interrogate how they affect ourselves and others.
This is very much needed in a world of quick fix. There are tons of books on advice on how to achieve ones goals. More often than not, these books focus on the personality instead of the character. We try to present ourselves better, cultivate positive thinking and all of that.
In the end, all we need to do is change our underlying perspective. It’s not easy; it is not instant. But it’s the best move we’ve got.