A Rebuttal to Stefan Molyneux - Living with Identity Politics and Feminism - Stuck between a Rock and a Hard Place

Has anyone noticed that Stefan Molyneux is becoming less and less active here on Steemit? I was hoping to resteem this post of his but it doesn't look like it is going up on his account, I just hope he doesn't mind.

I don't listen to all of the call in shows to be sure but this one grabbed me in a click bait sort of way but none the less I gave it a chance. It is excessively long but has a lot of interesting moments and sure can be picked up and put down because of how compelling the discussion is.

I decided to post this one because how much I related to the call in guest and what he is struggling to deal with. Thankfully my wife did not come with the extreme baggage that he has to carry but when it comes to how much havoc and destruction identity politics and feminism has caused, we couldn't have more similar stories. One thing is sure though, I sure wouldn't want to get into a pissing contest with this guy on who has it worse.

A very strange thing happened to guys like me, born circa where the 70s met the 80s in a blue coastal state U.S. We were raised to never see a person's race and prejudge them in any way shape or form. We taught to never tell a woman that she couldn't do what ever she wanted with her life and they just as strong as men in every way. But then about 25 years later, the culture made a major shift backwards.

These days we are taught, or forced depending on who we are talking to, that we need to address and evaluate a person specifically on their race above else and if they don't check off enough boxes on the identity politics list then you are free to dehumanize them and completely dismiss every thing they say and do. That is atrocious behavior but it is being pushed openly by millions of Americans as reparations for an immoral past and virtuous thereof.

What I find truly shocking is how blatant racism is not only excused but celebrated. I'm about 12 years into my multicultural lifestyle and I have lost count of how many times I tried to explain my family history to my in-laws. Believe it or not @gregorypatrick denotes predominate Irish heritage and when all of the things most racists things in America were happening my ancestors were barely scratching the surface of rocks hoping to find radishes back in the south end of the old country. Life was brutal and harsh, there was no food other than grass and roots for them to eat except maybe on Christmas when the Lord of the Land would give them a pigs snout to share. Any time they got their hands on money they spent it on things that made them more money like bolts of cloth and tools to make things more valuable until they saved enough to get away from there. We damn near didn't even make, the first boat we could afford was the Titanic! I'm not joking if my great grandmother didn't get pneumonia right before that cursed boat left we would have been stuck down below at the bottom of the ship to drown!

I'll give one guess on what the response was after hearing the truth about me from those wish me harm because of my skin color,,, I bet that was hard to figure out. The viciousness and hatred that came my way took me so far back I didn't know where I was anymore. It was me that had the problem and to deny that White Men, of all ethnicities mind you, were evil incarnate and the source of all the worlds suffering made me the worst person that ever lived. I needed to be punished and years of harassment followed. I'm talking about constant e-mails from La Raza and other supremacy groups to show me how bad a person I was because of my blue eyes, alienation from my children and spouse and constant attempts to steal resources that they feel are owed to them, perhaps from the war of 1812 when my ancestors were 5000 miles away living as indentured servants. The worst part about dealing with this is when you make a very valid argument about why you shouldn't be abused and used solely because of coloring the response is always "well you deserve it because I believe in power inequity and if you don't like stay with your own kind". Hearing that as a born and bred Boston blue blood is so outrageous and jaw dropping it usually ends a conversation coldly and abruptly.

So yes, I agree that what the man in this video is going through is near unbearable and it drains the hope right out of you but please stay with me here, there is a rebuttal coming at the end. If you feel like Sisyphus or Atlas then know that you are not alone and really don't have to drop the rock like the video suggests, some of us will lend you a shoulder.

When it comes to life with a feminist, oh boy I can relate. Any place that has a person who believes in ending human nature as we know it and replacing it with a supremacy ideology based on sex hanging around is certainly a hard place to be in. The amount of conflict that arises when you are trying to live with a person who is angry at God or Gia, nature or whatever label you want to put on it, for making things the way the are is so draining and wasteful it does make you want to quit. For the life of me I can't see why anyone would want to dedicate their life to a cause as hopeless as keeping the sun from coming up or the birds from singing. Of course the biggest problem with this ideology is, because the fight can't be won due the fact that nature won't bow to hatred and envy, reality will keep invalidating the belief system's sole purpose. When the universe itself challenges you every day at every turn you will feel backed into a corner and ready fight more like than not so when they lash out at the men in their lives trying to validate the lies they have been told it is best to pity them rather than give them what they want.

The thing about love is that when you see someone you feel that deeply about a person struggling with this pain and anger in their heart you want to help them even if it does hurt to do so. Perhaps it was the trauma of my youth that makes me feel this way but I really do believe that you can end the cycle of abuse for yourself and those who are close to you. It actually can be easier to make improvements when you make your own family if you come from a place of hardship in the sense that if you are always putting effort in you will do better by default compared to a prior generation that may have dealt you a rough hand. In my life for instance, just being able to hand over some inheritance in the form of real estate is a huge accomplishment, it helps give me a sense of purpose and self esteem.

So to my rebuttal, I inferred that Stef's advice was run like hell as soon as possible and never look back. He said that a person could wait un undetermined amount of time until they find a person like his spouse that as never raised their voice in anger or had any serious conflict with. I have three issues with what I think the message is to talk about below.

 I think it goes against the basic idea of common law to encourage a person to break a contract and empower the State to arbitrate the matter. He chose to involve the government and give them power in his life and it will give them more if he goes back to them to fix the problems he caused. I don't believe that Stef disagrees with this principle so I was surprised by his stance on this case. I'm going to share something shocking, I don't know any men who are with the mother of their children, none. I'm the only one who hasn't given up on this rock and a hard place situation in my life. Not my father or even stepfather kept their family together, none of my brothers or my friends have the nuclear family working. None of the women I grew up can keep even an unhealthy relationship together either though, sisters, mothers or aunts, take your pick. None of them could keep a family together. If I quit, we aren't going anywhere as a family for God knows how long.


 When it comes to the advice he has about finding the perfect spouse I can't help feeling like he is being overly optimistic. If I tried to go over every anecdote about a guy I grew up with waiting too long to start a family or followed the prior advice of quitting on their spouses I would need weeks  of your time. The long and short of it is that the people who were most capable of actually keeping things together took a look at the ones that tried and said "hell no" to the hassle of being in between this rock and hard place. 

Either way, following this advice, especially in my region, leads to a dead end and a sad, most likely empty life more often than not from everything I have ever seen. That leads me back to my final point, which is what I've been trying to get across throughout this whole article.

   Someone has to break these cycles because things like this tend to spread. Advocating that running and hiding from multiculturalism is even a possibility sounds laughable to a person who was a minority even among those who look like them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying we  should all go out and seek partners as different as us as possible for the sake of progress or social justice by any means. Do as you wish by wish by all means, spreading happiness is the point of this post after all. If you think you can pull up your roots and move to a place like Stef did where you can live in peace and security go for it, no matter what you look like. For the rest of us who paying their parents debt or elsewise born in a hole, this may not be a high priority and we need some better advice. 

I'm saying we should not close our self off to what our environment has to offer. Spending our limited time on Earth garnering resources only to spend them uprooting our lives to go a search for the perfect spouse in the perfect place. I would argue that undertaking is a much bigger challenge than over coming the problems associated with being with someone of a different race or creed. It seems like a gamble to try the travel option and I'm left wondering how many times you can roll the dice before your life is bust. There can be a thousand reasons moving can be the most logical and best way to improve your life but I would say if your doing it to strive for homogeny, than you are setting yourself up for a long fight you will not win, at least in America.

Besides all the financial reasons and time restraints on that path there is something positive I would like to point out about my life experience dealing with this. My childhood ideas were flawed for one glaring reason, it seemed like me and my friends growing up were all the same despite our different races but that was a neighborhood thing it turns out. Sorry to break it to you folks but we are different on many levels, I won't waste time pointing out all the individual cultural to regional diversions but it is safe to safe we are not all the same.

I bring that up because being around another Irish-American with ten generations of trauma as baggage on her back only because she is just like me, probably wouldn't lend well to my personal goals to end cycles of abuse that keep a lot of folk like me from succeeding. I love myself and my lineage just as much as the next guy but being around some one from another culture really does shine a light on areas of improvement you would never think twice about other wise.
I can come as a real surprise that knowledge you have believed your whole life can put to rest just by being exposed to new ideas and ways of life. My point is you don't know - what you don't know and the way we think the world works can be so far off it is funny. Test out what I am saying, try and envision a completely new way of life from dawn to dusk that you have not ever been exposed and truly is alien. If you get a good vision going, write that down and get back to me on a book but for a good amount of us without practice it can be like trying to imagine a new color, go ahead and give that a shot. :)

In this case, and not many to be honest, I really do strongly disagree with Stef and would like to put this out as an alternative. I hope this inspires a few people to dig deep and go for all the possibilities that life presents to them. When things get difficult don't quit, don't run, don't keep thinking the grass is greener on the other side. Make your patch of grass as green as can be before you move on and always do your best to take those that you can help along with you.

Have a great day everybody!