Falling out of bed, on occasion I landed upon the ceiling.
Everything is so much simpler with clearer surfaces.
Seeing all the modcons that once upon a time would simplify life then turned jailer, devices, vices, just out of reach in this shifted world, hanging from my newly fashioned ceiling.
Looking up now at the inverted room, I find myself as detached from this tangible clutter as I have been the intangible empty endless echoed place which I referenced as my heart.
I feel it beating in my chest, never resting, never idle, yet I still insist upon it's emptiness.
An organ responsible for circulating life into this vessel, a lofty task all it's own, has been laden with such responsibility as to be the care taker of most complex and unquenchable emotive desire. Upon my failing to fulfil this thirst I render it's chambers empty in spite of it's continual tidal flubdub, ebb and flow.
It's beat begins to quicken as this strange conundrum brings rise to panic. A flash, a memory, a feeling, a maze like an infinite tangle of wool, or a bowl of spaghetti in which am adrift, tasked with untangling, make sense of, and traverse if I am to fathom the purpose of this construct and decode the very universe itself.
A fleeting primal memory resides in this entangled flash. A temporary bridge built within a synapse, arching back in time to before questioning, when knowing was being, before ego eroded what is and resulted in this fractured emptiness that outside of these momentary shift, I can only extend only as far as my beating heart, my concrete thinking no longer able to engage such perceived abstraction.
This familiar trance, but a freeze frame from a replayed dream, unnerves. My head swims as my senses slow and they too entwine.
A memory, lifes answers lost in the very questioning of things. The development of thinking eroding knowledge.
Heart beat slowing to gentle flail I catch sight of my own form prostrate upon the bed, having not moved and still stationary, a peaceful slumber. A startling light emitting from within and without fills the room with we audible buzz. It pierces through all matter of things bringing with it pure clarity.
I tumble from great height from above, or was it below? Endless and suddenly all at once, apart from the constraints of time and such abstract notions.
I awake with a start as I fall into my own familiar vessel, steadying myself, the smallest wisp of a thought or even a knowing floats away as I exhale.
The hard hearted one settles again upon my heart, as I turn over and return to my dreamless slumber. My soul takes root, lulled by a hauntingly familiar gorgeous silvery floating song.
In the morning I wake with a burn in my knees, an old complaint that today has a sharpness, as though I have fallen upon my knees from a great height, rather than just woken from a nights sleep.
Wow
😉