Really Giving a F#*&
Your thoughts and feelings are so intertwined that it can be difficult to differentiate which is which.
Are you feeling this way because of what you are thinking ? Or are you thinking this way because of how you are feeling ?
Are they even separate ?
This division between head and heart is one that relies on the creative part of your body in between - your throat, your voice. It is from here that you speak and create your reality. Holding it to yourself can create a spiralling pattern down the rabbit hole if you do not keep your imagination of the unknown in check.
There are healing ways through these divisions between head and heart : speaking the words of vulnerable truth; writing the words of all regard; creating constructive actions around the thoughts, this is where healing happens.
It is so easy to deflect experiences by making it about another person, anyone except your self.
When you deflect, there is less attention on your behaviours and actions and you do not need to risk anything, only argue. You can make endless reasons why you don't want to participate in self propelled change or responsibility.
I am keenly aware anytime I offer a "reason", it is because I am choosing to make an excuse.
Alternatively, by taking responsibility over my action and checking in with myself to see what I created, it is there that I can see my hidden motivations.
When you change the way you are, your world becomes different.
You cannot solve the problem from the same place it was created.
Change is necessary for growth and healing.
Seek to stop giving outwards reasons and excuses for the way things are, and begin to imagine and create the life you want to have now. Your choices, even the small ones, create the new way of being.
Even the small successes must be celebrated ! You are loved and you can change !