We Envy In Others That We Dislike🎇 Thinking Highly Of Ourselves 💎

---

Classing Ourselves Above Others

Being we esteem ourselves a lot more highly than others and being we admire in others those things we lack in ourselves, how can we believe we are higher than others and at the same time idolise them?

I believe that we esteem ourselves more highly than others as we wish for the perfect qualities that we imagine that others possess. We feel like we are more deserving of these qualities than the individuals that actually possess them. That is to say that the very people we admire are the very individuals we are envious of. I am not saying we are envious of them in all things, but, only in those things that we perceive as lacking in our own lives.

The Desire Is Too Strong

To illustrate, as a young man, there was nothing I wished more than romance. The more I strived for it, the more it seemed to elude me. Consequently, I grew envious of couples I perceived as having ideal relationships. Rather than being happy for them, secretly, I relished any trouble in their relationship.

By being envious of others, we don't just want those things that they have but inwardly wishing if we can't have those things, then, neither should they. We see ourselves as more valuable than they are.

A Chain Effect Of Destruction

Therefore, every relationship is comprised of envious desire; by wishing to associate with others, we aren't looking for more of those things that we have already got but things that are missing in our lives, things that we would like, things that we want, yet, things that we find elusive.

In wanting to be more assertive, I'm not looking for somebody whom I perceive as being a pushover; I'm looking for somebody who stands his ground and is willing to be confrontational if he feels vulnerable.

Albeit I wish to be more assertive, I cringe at the mere thought of assertiveness. From being annoyed by someone insisting he has his way to recoiling in the presence of somebody who is confrontational, it's as if I want assertiveness in theory however not in practice. The very thing I want, the very thing I envy in others is the very thing that I find embarrassing.

Love or Envy?

I think that any relationship of any depth is a love-hate one. I feel like on the outside, we show that we desire one another, but secretly we envy each other.

I believe the very things we want from each other are the very things which irritate us about each other. The tension which exists between two people is caused by one person wanting that which the other person has but is annoyed by it in moderation and is disgusted by it in the extreme.