Feeling Rejected? 💔Be Mindful!
Forming A Relationship
When it involves dating, the concern of rejection will be a significant obstacle. Whether or not one has a general lack of confidence, or is creating a reluctant return to finding a data following a breakup or divorce, this concern will hold us back, as fears thus usually do.
We tend to need to avoid things that cause us pain: research through empirical observation confirms that rejection hurts and may be detected in brain activity. We might long to search out a romantic partner, however this conflicts with an equally sturdy want to avoid the sting of failure. The matter is, the concern of rejection doesn't stop rejection from happening and will even amplify feelings of isolation and exclusion.
Love Not Being Reciprocated
In distinction, once our own interest in somebody isn't reciprocated, we might personalise and internalise the experience, probably even believing there's one thing wrong with us. The truth is that, significantly on the first or the first several dates, the person sitting across from you doesn’t even understand you to a tolerable degree to reject you as such.
More usually than not, a broader incompatibility (based on temperament, lifestyle, or physical attraction) has been detected. There are feeling many wouldn't want to feel but being turned down for these reasons is nothing to fear—indeed, it ought to be welcomed. It saves heaps of your time and frees you to manoeuvre on to succeeding potential partner.
A Time To Reflect
We should admit that being rejected, say, six months or longer into a relationship is more distressing—after all, at that time, a partner will grasp you better. Of course, you'll hear your partner blaming themselves over you as the reason for the breakup. And whereas many folks say there's very little truth to this remark, in some ways, it’s true—even if it very was you. Why? Since regardless of the reason, you were merely not compatible with that person.
Perhaps they're going to tell you the explanation, and you'll decide if it’s one thing you may need to work on for further relationships (e.g. communication skills). If they don’t, you'll reflect on your part within the relationship and confirm this on your own. Regardless, you're liberated to march on and resume your search.
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The problem is that ... asking the one you broke up with doesn't usually get you any information.
Women don't know what they want.
They say they wish for a nice guy, but will only date the bad boy.
See "50 shades of Gray".
And men, take what women say as literal, and so try to be nice guys, which turns a woman off. It will destroy your relationship faster than acid.
And then, women think that since they have a good paying job that they deserve a man that has a better paying job. Women are attracted to the nest building attributes that money brings, and so, wrongly conclude that men like a woman who has a good career. But, men don't care.
So, our whole society goes around telling people to be the worst thing to attract the opposite sex.