I liked your essay! You begin, and end, by saying everything is determined, so essentially what you said in the middle I interpret as a 'what if' scenario, or 'imagine this'.

Your argument, to the extent that it's meant as such, is premised I think on the initial notion that a being that contains the causes within itself is less determined than a being that is contained within the causes. So if I make the birdcage in the first pic larger, the bird has more free will (assuming the cage is a metaphor for the brain). In his Prize Essay on the Freedom of the Will, Schopenhauer distinguished between freedom and free will. Freedom according to his definition can be gained by expanding the bars of the birdcage outwards. Free will can't be gained that way. (Schopenhauer himself used the example of a prisoner, who is equally lacking free will both inside and outside the prison, but who is radically freer outside the prison.)

A more intelligent human, by using raw intelligence and processing, might be able to unlock up to .00005%, or even .00006% free will. Perhaps by taking certain drugs, learning certain facts, or experiencing new events, this percentage could be increased even more.

Determinism doesn't just allow us to be influenced by our upbringing and our DNA and our tradition and our culture and what our family and friends have taught us and said to us: determinism also allows us to be influenced by logic, experience, experiment, studied opinion. An atheist is as determined as a theist, but the former's opinion is determined by logic, science, proof, comparison of different belief systems, whereas the latter's is determined by dogma. That, to me, is the only 'freedom' we can attain. In other words, we can choose to be determined by a few things (our specific culture, the place where we were born), or by a lot. The latter makes us freer, but not "free-willier".

I'm a determinist (and incompatibilist, if you know the term), so I felt compelled to say the above, even though like I mentioned I know you meant your article like something along the lines of a thought experiment.

Again, it was a good read! Looking forward to reading more. In fact, I'm gonna right now cos there's one more to go! :P