I agree with your observation. I disagree with your solution, strongly. There is a middle ground between raising a child without any direction and raising a child with the threat of pain and violence. It's not as if the generation that still knew spankings as a legitimate source of character formation turned out that great.

You wouldn't hit someone who's stronger and bigger than you when he misbehaves, why would you do it to someone who's much much smaller and weaker than you are and whom you profess to love more than anything in the world?