Nobody knows where we might end up..

When we were kids our parents would tell us what do they want for us when we grow up but as we grow older we realize what we really want to become. When I was young I wanted to be a flight attendant so I can travel the world, it fascinates me the idea that you get to go to different countries and get to be paid (talking about business with pleasure ). As time goes by I realized I want to work on a bank instead, I thought they were just there sitting in an airconditioned room and counting money but I was wrong, it was a pile of pile of paperworks and math!

When I reached college, I applied for a medical course, I took up nursing for it seems to be a good idea at the time. It was a difficult course but what isn't right? I never knew how challenging and sleep depriving it is not until I get to experience to memorize every part of our body and its function, diseases that I've never heard before, how we acquired a certain illness just because we forgot to wash our hands and a lot more. I thought that was the hard part, but it isn't. On our 3rd year we had our hospital duties, we get to encounter patients with different diseases and attended their need, assisted on surgical operations and child birth deliveries. This is where I learned to socialized to different kind of people, and to be patient and understanding to others for we do not know what they're going through. I graduated nursing and passed the licensure exam on the same year.

I thought passing the exam will make application of jobs easy, but I was wrong. We are required to take seminars and trainings, I think being a nurse is a never ending learning so we can improve our skills and knowledge. I did a three-month volunteer work in one of the government hospital in our province this is where I have tried to give medications to more than 80 patients, attends to their needs and do their chart documentation in just 8hour shift, imagine how exhausting that was. After months of volunteer works, we have to re apply for regularization while waiting for the hospital's feedback I sent resume' to other nearby hospitals and waited for their response.

While waiting, my brother told me that a quota opened for applicants in the PNP Orgnization so I secured all the requirements and passed an application form. After a few weeks I got a call for their initial assessment, they checked all documents passed, they took our body mass index, we did an agility test where we have to do a 3km run in 20 minutes, perform push up and seat up exercises. I passed their initial assessment while waiting for the next step of my application I received a call coming from the hospital I applied before asking me to report for contract signing, I was torned if I'm going to grab it or continue my application. I declined their offer and continued my application unfortunately changes were made where in they stopped the processing of applications for female applicants and instructed us to wait for the next quota to open, for a moment I regretted my decision in declining the hospital's offer. I re-applied and went through the application process, I passed all the test and when the final list who will undergo the training came out my name was not included I felt devastated, it turns out that they only have limited slots for female. They advised us to wait again for the next application to open, so I waited.

The application was once again open after a few months, I re-applied and went through every step of the application. But God was really testing me on how much do I really want the job, because again I was not included on the final list. My family and friends would tell me to try to apply to another job that maybe this is not meant for me. It has been one of the lowest moment of my life I felt like a failure, that I've wasted 2 years of my life into nothing and I also have the feeling of being left out because everyone in my crowd is succeeding to something and I am here trying to get a job. After weeks of crying, self-pity and praying I got a call from the recruitment office asking us to report if we are willing to be re-alligned in Manila area. I am and has always lived in a province, it was a hard decision to go out from your comfort zone and home but I didn't want to miss another opportunity so I went to the camp the next day.

Sometimes we can't be winners in our first try, it may take us a few times, it may break us and leave us frustrated or devastated but it shouldn't be a reason to stop trying. If we really want something we have to persevere, be patient and faithful for there is no short cut in success. We shouldn't forget that God is always listening to our prayers, He may not give it in the time we want it the most or the way we expect it to happen but surely He will give it to us in the right time and in the right way.