The moment I asked myself THE QUESTION, are my chars me or did I become them?

Personal blog #2 Come and have a look inside my mind. 

Img credits: Google personal brand.

I was still a young innocent kid when I wrote my first story. I have always been fascinated by fictions and scary monsters and the love for writing those kind of stories only grew bigger the older I became. I had big dreams to become a famous writer, a top selling author but somewhere down the line I stopped dreaming and started to like other things more. I stopped writing when I was around 17 and started again when I was around 22. At that time I no longer wrote stories but dived into the poetry world and filled many pages with rhyming words. For some reason I stopped again and no matter how hard I try to remember what the reason was, I seriously have no clue. But I gave up my dreams to write a poetry book and found some other hobbies to spend my time on. 

                 

Img credits: Google, 170 roleplay images. 

Then ROLEPLAY happened! 

8 years ago I was having a personal page on Hyves, a dutch site like facebook. I got bored and started to hear more and more about Facebook. I got curious enough to open an account there while none of my friends and or family were there. I found groups and connected with a few people and I started to follow a few writers. At one morning, after a night of no sleep I got added by this demonic person. I am a curious person so I accepted. That was the open door I have been looking for ages. This person told me about Roleplay on Facebook and the ball started to roll. 

I started to think about roleplay and I created my first char. Her name was Basil and because I still was a huge fan of fantasy and fiction she was a Manticore woman. (( The manticore (Early Middle Persian Mardyakhor) is a Persian legendary creature similar to the Egyptian sphinx. It has the body of a lion, a human head with three rows of sharp teeth (like a shark), and sometimes bat-like wings. )) Slowly I started to build her life and created stories together with fellow roleplay writers. I gathered a following and it also helped me to get better at English. ( I am from the Netherlands) I had and still have the time of my life in the roleplay scene and I am sure I will never leave it behind. 

Basil grew and became a favorite voice in my head. She made me laugh and cry at the same time. I wrote a long story for her and turned that into a E-book. After a while her voice became softer and I started to hear this freaky woman. Zephy, a Leviathan demon. I created her 4 years ago and I am still stunned at what happened. People fell in love with her and the way she lived her life.  During my time in roleplay I created more and more chars but most did not stuck with me. Zephy, my Leviathan snake, a red head with no fears! God, I love her.

Img credits: Tumblr

I also created a char who is a panther shifter. At first her voice was weak but I could hear and feel her getting stronger with every day. This char is a fierce woman, a warrior of sorts who struggles with family and the way they live. She looks though and strong but she really is a shy young woman who is lost in a world she does not really understand. She lost the love of her life and right now she is getting pulled in to some new drama that will turn her whole world upside down. ( I share her story here on Steemit under a tale to remember. Have a look if you are interested.)) Her name is Bianca and weird enough that is my real name. 

Img credits: Google.

I have been writing her for a year now and that makes two strong chars who are stuck in my head! yes, stuck because I hear them talk, feel them poke and pull my ear! 

So, A few days ago I sat down to write and I started to realize that I was writing my own emotions away. That was the moment I asked myself the question, are my chars me or did I become them?
Am I really a person with three faces? Fact is, I am.  
When you meet me you either meet me as my snake, my cat or myself. If you meet me or get to see me as myself it means you have earned my trust and I am ready to take off all my masks.

Honestly, I am a super shy person and I rather hide in the corner to stay away from attention. I live in the darkness of the night rather reading a book than going out to a club.
Bianca, My panther char is even more shy. She will blush, giggle and hide even better than I ever could. She is a very submissive person trying to please everybody around her while she struggles with what's brewing inside her.
Zephy, my snake... Well..... She has no filter and just says what ever she wants, does what she wants and wants to be in the middle of the attention center. This is also part of me as a person, when you know me rather well and I know you I turn from shy to explosive within a blink of an eye. I even have the same anger problems as her. When provoke in a really bad way she sees blood and starts to fight. 

I always thought I was just writing chars and stories but in fact I am writing two different sides of myself in a way.
I am somewhere down the middle wondering what part will play up today. Most of the time I tap into my snakes head because that is where I feel comfortable enough to speak with others although at times I need to realize that I have to tone her a bit down here on Steemit! :D 

Img credits: American horror story. 

Horror and gore and fantasy galore. 

As you might have noticed by this post, I am into fantasy and horror and yes, I even have a deep love for gore. I have shared a few of my horror stories here in the past and always wondered how many people would love to read them. How bloody can a post be here without being judged? As a writer I never hold back but as a person I do. Not everything is fitting for all platforms. I mean a post about eating and taking eyes out can be funny for some but when described in detail it might turn into puking moments! And for that you shall have to buy my books! (( Order them now or for ever hold your peace!)) 

While I am into blood, horror and gore I am just a normal woman you would hardly notice on the street. I have my own writing style and I am far from a long detailed story teller. I am to the point and blonde is blonde and red is red. Eyes are eyes and not hues. There are times I work 8 hours for 500 words and times I can't stop myself and scribble 5000 in two or three hours. I am a friendly person with a very freaking and at times really disturbing mind. Trust me, I am not a satanist, I have been called that and I have even been contacted by a friendly priest who offered me his help. I live in the normal world and in the fantasy world where I can be who ever I want to be. I love to roleplay and I still do. Every day I write for my chars, Snake and cat, Zephy and Bianca. I am working on books and poems and I am so happy! 

I no longer dream about becoming a famous writer or a top selling author. I now write because I enjoy it without pressure from my self. I might be seen as a tad insane at times, scary or weird. But..... Maybe you will figure me out one day! 

Img credit: Google, snake, cute.

Let's sum it up and ..... 

Most of the time you will see me in my snake roll. but trust me, I am kind. I only bite when loved and you might end up in my stories! <3 Love to all who made it till here! 

My name is @poeticsnake, a creative writer and dreaming poet! 

A wandering soul searching for new paths to walk on! 

If you like my poetry, paintings and daily ramblings push the follow button! 

If I made you feel anything with my work, please reply! 

If you fell in love, resteem is the answer! :D 

Have a blessed, warm and loving day!