Seeing a Shrink

Been almost a year now, really.  Not exactly sure how well this is going.  Went there for work related issues, but most times I spend talking about the wife.  Seems like there is something more wrong with her than me.

I'm careful about believing that, though.  As with all situations you have two sides to every story, and somewhere in between lies the truth.  I am glad to sometimes get feedback that does suggest that I'm not nearly as wrong as she tries to say I am.

One thing that bugs me is this feeling of helplessness.  It's almost as if I can't just speak my mind without being attacked and put down.  The frustration comes with how I respond, or how I feel like I have to respond.  I feel like I need to be civil even when the other person is being unreasonable.  The frustration levels rise to near boiling (the desire to shout and smash things becomes strong), at which point I back off and try to weigh the cost of just giving in so that I can get rid of those feelings.

Problem is, they never really go away.  They subside, but upon the next confrontation they come back along with a new level of frustration.  This goes on and on and has continued for almost 10 years now.  This is why I decided to try and get it sorted out with help.  Talking to the wife doesn't help, always turns into how everything is my fault.  This followed by frustration, anger, hatred and a desire to destroy the nearest thing to me.

Point to this post?  Nah, just felt like blabbering into the ether is all.