Scared To Commintments

I feel scared friends, I mean really scared,

I feel weak daily, I mean really really weak,

I feel foolish, I mean really really foolish,

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I am scared of what may become of me in time to come,

I am scared of what might happen in the nearest future,

I do not want to become a victim of foolishness,

But I do not know what to do,

I have someone I love very much,

And I am pretty sure that he loves me back in return,

We are both from a poor background and we hope to make it to the top together,

We work hard together and we are best of friends,

I have given my heart, my body and soul to him,

And he has done the same,

We have been through a lot together, but we still held on to the love we have for each other,

We have made a lot of promises to each other, which we believe will become a reality very soon,

I have always waited for the day he will go on his knees and ask me to marry him,

I had imagined how wonderful and special it is going to be,

I had it all planned out in my mind how I am going to say yes to him,

Until now...........

He had asked me to marry him today and all of a sudden fear enveloped me,

I had no idea what made me scared, it is not as if I have somebody else,

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Or that I do not love him, I really do,

But I walked away from him while he held the beautiful diamond ring I have always asked for in his hand,

My friends kept on asking questions I could not provide an answer to, now this is all over,

Was it because of my Mum's bitter experience in marriage?

Was I scared I was going to end up like her?

What have I done to myself, how will I do a thing like this.

Thank you for reading, you can upvote, comment and resteem @mercy20.