Failure is Feedback: Why Choosing to be a Peaceful Parent is a Victory in and of Itself

in #peaceful-parenting8 years ago (edited)

I think the thing that most peaceful parents need to hear most when they are feeling discouraged is not saccharine pep talks and vague encouragements of "you can do it!", but stories from other peaceful parents about their real struggles and especially, about their failures.

I saw a quote today that I have seen a few times before, and which comes to mind now:

That's it, in a nutshell. Failure is not an end, but feedback as to what didn't work, and how to begin again.

The most important thing that we as peaceful parents have to remember is this:

It is not about being "perfect" or never making mistakes that matters. This is impossible. It is making the choice, every single day, and every single moment we can, to simply be aware of our choice to be peacefuk, and to make the conscious effort to do whatever it takes to walk that path of peace. Usually it involves accepting ourselves first. Unconditionally. This is no small order, but is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.

We are gonna fall on our asses a lot.
Nothing wrong with that.

We are already the lucky ones, just for finding this path in the first place. It takes a special person, an open mind, and a rare kindness and compassion this world is starving for, so I commend you, peaceful parents, wherever you are. I really hope you enjoy the video. Looking forward to hearing your stories, victories, and struggles as well.

Peace.

~KafkA


Graham Smith is a Voluntaryist activist residing in Niigata, Japan

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Thanks for your posts on peacefull parentlng Graham. It is such an important topic and it often feels isolating given that most people equate violence with discipline, but in reality, it is the children making good decisions without the fear of punishment, that are really displaying discipline.

That's exactly it. True discipline is self-discipline in freedom.

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