Passive-Aggressive Behavior Part 1// Peace Academy Curriculum

in peaceacademy •  10 months ago

Passive-Aggressive Behavior Part 1

In the last curriculum post we talked about the difference between passive, assertive, and aggressive communication styles.
There’s another combination communication style called passive-aggressive that we are going to cover in the next few posts.

Passive Aggressive behavior involves indirectly expressing negative emotions and suppressing angry emotions to avoid conflict, but subtly expressing those negative feelings in passive ways.

Passive-aggressive communicators exhibit resistance and aggression, but in a passive way resulting in sullenness, stubbornness, procrastination, opposition, emotional dishonesty, and denial of feelings.

It is incredibly difficult to communicate with someone who is passive-aggressive because they shut down communication by insisting that everything is fine on the surface when it clearly isn’t.
It’s a form of emotional manipulation that may leave you questioning yourself and the situation.

Examples of Passive-Aggressive Behavior

  • Someone insisting they are not mad when they are clearly angry.
    In this case, instead of assertively expressing their needs, wants, or feelings, they are instead directly denying their emotions and shutting down communication, yet indirectly allowing the negative emotions to come through in non verbal ways so that the other person still feels the anger and tension.

  • Stonewalling - the silent treatment.

  • Doing something to upset someone, but acting like you didn’t know it would upset them or acting like it was an accident.

  • Manipulating and angling to get what you want instead of just assertively communicating your wants, needs, and feelings.

  • Agreeing to complete a task, but acting hostile, sullen, or spiteful. Other examples may include procrastination or partial and inadequate completion of the agreed upon task.

  • Compliments that have an underlying tone of criticism.

  • Consistently acting in passive-aggressive ways in order to manipulate and drive someone else to the point of explosive anger so that person is seen as the problem.
    This is toxic behaviour caused by resentment, denial, and avoidance of conflict.
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I am aggressive...

Thanks for the information. Someone that expresses a passive-agressive behaviour in the form of silent treatment might just be doing so in order to avoid violent confrontation.

I like this idea, I didnt know that this behaviour is called passive aggression. Ive seen this bahaviour many times in the office and sometines its hard to work with them, because they are pretending all the time with their true feelings and dont complete a certain task at all.


yes good idea ....
I m also stand with your post........

Awesome post, like to be here reading this words.


Had to resteem/upvote this because its so true and uncommon that people realise or understand the concept.

Actually, the offensive behavior that morals can be done is the need for emotional goodness.

I've had numerous encounter and I have sometimes denied my emotions especially when being asked if you're okay, I think most men would go on and say yes, when clearly we aren't, it's like it's hardwired.

Loving and supportive relationships form the basis of a satisfying and happy life. And healthy communication and mature behavior are at the core of all successful relationships.If you are observing passive aggressive behavior in any of your relationships, I suggest that you give your attention and improve it with awareness..

You've pinpointed this particular behavior and also suggested treatments but you haven't mentioned what creates this behavior? Please put some light on it.


duly noted

Unfortunately this is one behaviour that is in many relationships/friendships. Which is one of the most damaging abuse tactics used by an abuser although to the abuser they may not see this as abuse, they try to say they just don't want conflict, which in turn can lead to more conflict. This is why we who are parents need to show our children it is ok to show emotion and that it is ok to use our voice even if we can't agree it is healthier to discuss an issue rather than allow the thoughts or feelings to get the best of us....or the worst.....

I think we passive-aggressive behaviour here on steemit too, they don't upvote your post if they are angry with you, instead of them expressing their anger to you.

After reading your last article yes i got the basic difference among Assertive,Aggressive and Passive approaches. @aggroed

From today's article by reading the traits of Passive Aggressive conversation how can we manage the conversation in a fruitful way?

By the way you're making my life more easier by teaching me these psychological aspects of person's behavior.
Thanks to #peaceacademy for bringing peace among human beings and to you as well for helping the minnows in more interactive way.

Hope so you're rocking the New Year's Eve.

Stay Blessed, Steem On!

Thank you for this topic worth discussing and analyzing
I am from my humble causes of aggressive kids
Is the child's frustration and failure due to the inability to accomplish some of the tasks or Altvvihha make him express his aggressive behavior

I have to do some major coping ahead for when dealing with my mother in law. She is the most passive aggressive person I know.


Got something from this post..

great article @aggroed ..

Wow, this is so true, you see this more in people we feels they’re being marginalized in society, Passive Aggressive behavior is also often seen in homes, between couples.

It hurts so bad to see yourself at the receiving end to Passive Aggressive behaviors from people, issues are best treated openly and squarely than trying to use Passive Aggressive Tactics.

Thanks for sharing @aggroed.

we stand for peace!

I’m still your humble follower and friend @maxdevalue.

You are right God will bless you for that.

Someone insisting they are not mad when they are clearly angry.

This form of aggression can really make others around feel uncomfortable. It is obvious among couple when one party in the union wants to expression his or her emotion in a non-verbal form.


I've just found one of my behaviors on this list. Namely, silent treatment. It's funny, I'd never suppose I'm capable of passive-aggressive actions. Yes, I've just confessed, but it's only toward one person which really pisses me off during arguments and we're family and we always reconcile. Still, I'm am asshole. Seems it may have hurt them more than I thought.

There's the short term passive aggressive which is useful to avoid immediate emotional outburst and/or take time to examine ones feelings as those are not always 100% obvious. Once the internal feelings are sorted out, door to communication can be opened. After all, to communicate effectively emotions need to be in check and the purpose clear. Yes, you guessed it, I am one of those who needs to sulk in silence to get my act together before I can enter a meaningful discussion 😂

I like the picture sharing on your post. It's great to have the post

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That's one beautiful "self-destroying-inner-conflict" photo.

I think passive - aggressive is for people who can't say "no" so they wouldn't spoil the impression. Well, "no" is a good answer :)

It is incredibly difficult to communicate with someone who is passive-aggressive because they shut down communication by insisting that everything is fine on the surface when it clearly isn’t.

Normally, this happens to the people with introversion, feeling and judgement traits specially when they have gone through some tragedy. So, IFJs are the people bearing this behavior more than any other personality type, right?


Im an infj Lol. I cpuld say that I am guilty of passive aggression. This is primarily because these personality types prefer harmony and expressing their thoughts may create a rift in relationships (atleast that's how I perceive it). But seeing as how passive aggressin destroyed my past relationship with someone I liked, I would say that it's a big no no. People should learn to communicate their thoughts in the most constructive way possible

passive-aggressive people are energy drainers in my book.
many are looking for outlets and some they come across can become unsuspecting victims of their assault on the emotions.

Baron Katy says 'victims are violent'

One of the reasons I resist working in offices and bureaucratic environments, too much petty power dynamics and passive aggressive behavior. I’m sure this exists everywhere because it’s just another aspect of human nature but some places and circumstances way more than others.

Wow! I love this, very educating! Write on @aggroed

Very nice and clear article, thank you @aggroed!
When I was younger I used to be quite a passive aggressive little brat, I learnt that behaviour from my surroundings it was considered normal, now that I understand more about emotions and communication I understand that it is very toxic to be passive-aggressive, and I try to be as assertive as I can when I communicate important information, express myself or when I try to resolve conflicts.