Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication // The Peace Academy Curriculum

in peaceacademy •  10 months ago

Passive, Aggressive, and Assertive Communication

When it comes to communication, balance is key.
We can view the communication styles of passive, aggressive, and assertive, as a spectrum with passive and aggressive being the extremes and assertive being the healthy balance in between.

Passive Communication

This involves prioritizing other's feelings, wants, and needs over your own.
People who passively communicate will not express their needs or stand up for themselves.
They are usually soft spoken, lack confidence, have weak boundaries, avoid all conflict, and may even have a victim mentality.

Aggressive Communication

Those who aggressively communicate cross over their own boundaries into another person's boundaries.
They aggressively communicate their feelings, wants, and needs at the expense of others by ignoring other's needs and/or bullying.
Aggressive communicators are usually loud, disrespectful, easily frustrated, unwilling to compromise, inconsiderate of others, explosive, manipulative, critical, and sometimes even threatening and hostile.

Assertive Communication

The key here is balance as both party's feelings, wants, and needs are adressed.
Assertive communication means that you can communicate your feelings, wants, and needs in a clear and calm way while also listening to and respecting the needs of others.
Assertive communicators are confident and exhibit healthy boundaries and an ability to compromise.

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Being passive is bad because people can take advantage of you

Being aggressive is bad because people can notice it, and stop hanging out with you.

Being assertive requires a certain balance from our part, but it’s the best way of communicating. Besides, it can help us achieve our goals in life.

frig communication. im a furry. im just going back to ggrrring and waggin mah tail. label at will


#solidarity. We are all furries.


Really a fury or joking about being a fury

Me at a fury con |/



hum. spam much?


Sorry, it get auto added to most of my footers because I am a part of the teams. I editted it down a bit. Were you joking about being a fury?


i am not a fury. except when im angry, and then im probably Tisiphone. Agg and I have a running joke about being a furry because i'm a rabbit dog. He may actually be a closet furry, not sure.


Balance is truly the key, one need to listen before speaking, understand after assessing every word before reacting, so as not to be called passive or aggressive for our words are more or less like a loaded gun, ready to shoot at what direction pointed to

I'm agree with you... thanks for share @aggroed

Being assertive gets the job done!

All these communication styles have there own advantages and disadvantages.People who are Passively communicator are more sensitive then others because they truly understand others feelings so they try to avoid all things which may hurts others.
Assertive communicator are some time soft speaker and some time react strongly its depends on their Mood and Situations.While Aggressive communicators are less tolerate they reacts with out thinking.This is I think very damaging thing.

Balance is key!

Well said. I tend to think folks who are passive or passive aggressive tend to hold lower self esteem while the aggressive type operate on guts to hide the lack of self esteem. Well worth the read. Thanks.

First Happy New Year and Great topic and logical analysis Thank you for your efforts and we need your support

Your thought is good....I also agree with you...

Certainly the assertive Communication between the actors is the target; however I think it is very important develop the communication in a comfortable ambient that help us to reach an effective conversation. Simply is a detail that I wanted to add. Greetings.

I just had an interesting experience with Twitter this morning. A financial writer who I read each week, followed me on Twitter some time ago. I was quite chuffed, as I respect him as a writer, but certainly do not agree with everything he has to say, particularly in regards to Bitcoin and cryptocurrencies. But hey, I accept not everyone has the same perspective I do. I actually cherish that.

Anyway, this morning, he tweeted an article from the Daily Beast stating that journalism was under attack from Trump etc. Now, I follow the media fairly closely and have written articles critical of the ABC (Australia's ABC) especially in relation to its one-sided coverage of the Syrian conflict.

So, today, I simply retweeted this finance writer's tweet commenting that journalists have been lying to us since before Trump even became a presidential candidate. It was not a personal attack, I was simply stating (what I believe) to be a fact. It was a comment on the current poor state of journalism.

Result. He instantly blocked me. Why? For expressing a differing opinion. There was no malice in my tweet. I was not critical of the writer in any way. I was just stating what I believe to be true.

Here is my response to the original tweet which was a play on words of the original tweet:

"We'll look back at this time as the time journalists were at their most delusional. They have been lying to us long before Trump's candidacy."

I guess in this world of social media trolling and climate of extreme political and idealogical partisanship, it's not always easy to determine what will trigger someone. Even a professional communicator.


I hear ya brother. There is this elitist attitude that if you are not in a certain camp you must be wrong. It’s gotten to a point where it’s just annoying. I can’t watch more than five minutes of Main Street media without crawling in my skin.


True. And the funny thing about this guy is that he has a subscription investment newsletter and so he is even willing to sacrifice subscribers, or potential subscribers, by engaging in petty blocking.

I do believe however, that 2018 will be a watershed year for the MSM as many of the "truths" they have been peddling will be proven to be wrong...and many of the so-called "conspiracies" they have so pompously dismissed will be proven to be true.

We will have to wait and see, but I think 2018 is going to be an interesting year.


That's too bad. If I were him I'd stop that. Super important in my opinion to not be stuck in a vacuum, feel kinda sorry for him but, at the same time, I don't.


Sad truth today that it's far easier to block and ignore than having a solid argument about something.


@atnicholson (52) hopefully peace be with our families all and life in this nature all fine well .. :)

When I was in the University, I had a professor that having to options he would choose a mix of both, because no matter the problem, if you take your solutions and mix the best parts of them, you will find a better solution that the ones you had in the beginning, this knowledge has helped in every aspect of my life not just communication alone.

it's all about a clear and balanced approach, which is what assertive communication seems to be all about. Why is communicating well so difficult?

Communication and the way we use it in every day life is very important. Thanks for sharing!

Ah yes! Balance is key to most everything. Sometimes I probably should work on decreasing the passiveness and swap it for a bit more aggressive to be in that middle assertive category! Nicely put!


So basically you mean a touch of all three would be nice😂😂😂

Some people communicate aggresively but aren't aware of it, for they think that's hownit supposed to be, what do you think one can do to make them see reason and understand the balance?

Totally agreed with your writings !

Great post, deserves an up vote from me :)

your post is very beautiful, may I mintak to upvote my account

you are right,tnx for sharing your thought.@aggroed

Nice post brother.

i was on mspwaves trying to make friends, this guy rondon with the joker/ronaldmcdonald avatar tries to browbeat me into accepting racism as a fact.

they had me install 'ishowu' software which is a potential virus. i think you were promoting them and i saw you on there.

are you going to say 'ishowu' is a legit requirement for operating obs and that it's cool with you if their sr. mods believe black people are inferior?

i dont think anything is wrong with being critical btw. simply asking questions should not ever be offensive. if you are afraid of questions, you are weak indeed.

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Thanks for this

Nice article. As a lazy ass person, I often find myself in situations where I don't feel like exerting enough energy to be assertive, finding it easier to simply let others think of me as passive and go about my life.
The trouble with this is that every shortcut is a psychological slippery slope into mental stagnation.

Your Are Good AND i am Agree this post

Very well explained in very simple and straight words.

haha sound like anyone you know : )

Really good info , the key to so much is communication, many wars have begun over the inability to communicate... Good topic..

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Well Im sorry but I don't agree with the way passive speaker have been ridiculed that they lack confidence.

Hi @aggroed, I have been an assertive communicator throughout my life. It is not an easy task to balance as that would mean trying to balance between those people who mostly sits either on the passive or the agressive side. But after awhile you will get a positive result of doing that and surely it is gratifying as being assertive means a win-win situation for all. Peace

Well @aggroed,

Some surveys and studies i came across during my university life and according to those;
Nature plays about 20% role while 80% role is of Nurturing in one's life.
You become what you see and feel. Three approaches of life you talked about are of great importance and you logically proved why ASSERTIVE approach is the best.

Actually life is all about managing the situation. Sometime you have to become Passive, while sometime you need to become Agressive but key lies in being Assertive.

This is a major psychological debate you mentioned in this blog and this symbol shows the perfect philosophy how to manage your Life

Thank you so much for teaching me this best approach to manage the life.

Keep sharing such innovative and informative philosophies with us.

Stay Blessed!

Your first sentence has said it all. Balance is indeed key to maintaining good and healthy communication etiquettes. And I personally do think assertive communication is the best kind of communication there is(Ceteris paribus). Thanks a lot for sharing.

When you encounter a problem, try not to see it as an attack against you, but as a dispute that needs to be resolved. Share your thoughts and thoughts as they are. @aggroed

Soo be Assertive!!
I get the point!.... Assertiveness i can say helps creativeness because you need to find ways to not compromise your desires and other people's desires as well