FOUR LETTER WORD THAT ENDS EVERY ARGUMENT

Today i wanna share something i learnt in a relationship council recently. I actually didn't plan for any relationship councils but it was a bonus presentation to the main seminar i attended. I think the speakers perspective on the issue made sense and i wanna share this with my friends here who are in a relationship presently 'cause i'm not. lol

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The speaker shared in about 15 minutes his secret to ending arguments in relationship before it gets heated up and eventually results in words and actions which might terminate the relationship sooner than planned. Funny enough this four letter word he talked about is "OUCH!". He went further to explain why this word is more effective than "I'm sorry" or "It was a mistake".

He said, instead of going on to proving with words that you are not guilty (that's trying to win the arguement) or that you are sorry or even worst saying "relax or calm down", all you have to do is show that you are receptive of the accusations or criticism and he/she has hurt you back too. That is, i hurt you, you want a confrontation, you want to hurt me too, okay mission completed.

When you say "Relax" or "calm down", you give your partner the impression that he/she doesn't have the right express how she feels, doesn't have the right to complain about the problem or what you've done. When you keep saying "i'm sorry" to end the argument, your partner will feel she you don't even wanna hear what she's saying and will likely continue since he/she haven't made his/her point yet.

But when you say something like "OUCH, that statement hurts or that was harsh", she is probably going to push forward with something like "Yeah you deserve it, you never do anything right", then you respond with "yeah you right, i'm sorry". What you just did is like saying i'm receptive and open enough that you can hurt me.

Here is another good example, when you are flogging a kid for something he/she did wrong and the kid claims all tough and refuse to cry or show any sign of pain, you will continue. But if he screamed at just the first stroke, you will feel okay he's crying now, i've made my point, he won't be repeating the offence in a long time.

Don't just walk away or keep silent during an arguement cause silent is the best answer for a fool and it only makes things worst. Since fire can't survive without oxygen, saying "OUCH" and showing you hurt too by your partners criticisms takes away the oxygen in the already tensed up environment and kill the fire of the heated argument.
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