Inner Inquiry

I need to find a new direction
I need to live by my own discretion
I must reclaim my own volition
If I am to change my condition

I need to learn from past mistakes
And not stay stuck in the same place
Where I'm not truly appreciated
Not one of them has mediated

Toxic environment
I knew they were hiding something
Twisting my words it is absurd
I guess they must just think I'm bluffing

Society's sickness
Sordid solipsism
Coupled with false pretense
A prevalent state
Of spiritual diseases

I once had hope in all of humanity
But it is clear to me
That there a lot of really terrible people
From all walks of life

I don't want that to be my main focus
But I know I'm being singled out
Because they've underestimated me
Both friends and foes
In their death throes

I stand alone
A sovereign
It isn't always comforting
But I do feel better without most of you
Most of the time

And perhaps this is my folly
To live without what keeps us human
The most sacred interactions

But I haven't met very many that interact in a sacred manner
I've met far more that poison the well
And don't get me wrong
All humans need some level of interaction
But this cannot change the fact
That I often feel better if I'm alone

So where do I go from here?
I don't know
Don't get me wrong
I'd like to grow
And branch out into more meaningful interactions
But that's the key
So few in this society
Hold anything to be sacred

Are we living in the last days
Of this elaborate rat maze?
I don't know
But the programming has remained strong
The blinders are on the human mind
That keep us from our own souls
And sever our connection to the divine

And perhaps humans were an experiment
Maybe that's why we remain chaotic
All I know is I'm sick and tired
Of feeling so fucking despondent

I don't know if I want to disappear
And check out of society
Or if the solution may lie
In maintaining my sobriety

All I know as of late
I've had elevated anxiety
I've stumbled onto a path
That surely is not right for me

So am I to turn around
Or should I keep going?
Or wander off into the brush
Without the others knowing?

If the path that leads to all leads to one
Then perhaps my journey
Has only begun
I am the one
The infinite
Pure consciousness
As long as I'm not disconnected
And caught up in the details

The piss and shit
The minutia of it
They're selling our souls
By means of retail

I just want to return
To the profundity
Of the revelations I once had
But I just need to take a deep breath
And pretend it's not so bad

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