Mamas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Socialists

[Originally published in The Voluntaryist, by Melissa Rajkovich]

I never force my kids to share their property, e.g., toys, clothes, etc., because I believe that there is a value to sharing if it’s voluntary. When I teach children lessons about interacting and socializing with others I allow them the autonomy to learn from their experience. When my children understand that they have control over their property they learn that they are respected and this builds their self-confidence. It also encourages them to understand that respect is a two-way street.

Often my son or daughter will want the other’s toy, sometimes it’s freely given, other times the request is denied. While there can be disappointment with the latter reaction, it’s a lesson to be learned for them. Because one of the principles that I live and teach by is that stealing is wrong. To implement this experience early on and to remain consistent with this as I guide them to the best I know how. And often my children do choose to share, because they know it makes their sibling happy and that at another time the favor will be returned.

To dispel the idea of authority as early as possible, it’s important that I teach my children that they can make decisions for themselves when the situation allows it. (I am speaking of their voluntary interactions, not of situations that are possibly life threatening to their well-being.)

What I notice is that this empowerment gives them a chance to learn respect for others and themselves. They become more aware of how they interact with others, the concept of setting boundaries, and teaches them responsibility. The more I can give my children these opportunities, the more independent and self-reliant they become. If I am consistent with my actions while my children are learning, then I am confident they will live their lives, taking responsibility for themselves and creating a peaceful world.