Alternative Parenting and Captain Fantastic
First of all, all kinds of spoiler alerts.
My son told me a couple months ago to see Captain Fantastic. Our internet situation is, um, unique, so we try to download our movies in town. This alone takes some time. Then I really just don't watch too many movies. Life is busy, I guess. Anyway, I do love Viggo Mortenson, like a little over the top fan girl, actually, so I finally made the time to watch it.
I knew nothing about it going in. You know we don’t really have tv here, so I never see commercials or anything like that. If it doesn’t roll through Steemit or fb feeds, I probably missed it. I guess if I had known the topic, I probably would have gotten to it faster, though, right?
Right off the bat, for those who don’t know me, I parent in a pretty radical way, and I consider parenting my children and assisting other parents to be the spiritual work I was put on this earth to do. I also have struggled with depression off and on over the last several years. Yesterday was one of those days. I had shit that needed to be taken care of, and the world was not cooperating with my agenda. Some days I roll through that ok. Some days it really throws me.
Just a couple days ago I wrote about how it's ok for things to not work out just so. I’m adjusting to it, and it’s definitely helping. Just this minute I’m sitting at the immigration office in the longest line I have ever seen in this little building, and I’m totally content with it. It’s all good. Anyway, yesterday was not all good, and I guess that’s ok too. I was really feeling the struggle of money and being able to provide for my kids.
Maybe not the best time to watch Captain Fantastic, huh? I cried. A lot. It was really, really good, and it was really, really hard. I wanted to write about it because I’m curious how others in the alternative parenting community viewed it. I also feel like I need to process what I saw.
It was visually stunning, and almost all of the acting was really amazing. I also thought they did a really beautiful job for the most part of portraying the internal struggles so many of us in this community face. Am I really doing what’s best for my kids? Am I really preparing them not only for the world I would like to see unfold but also for the one that currently exists? Am I over protective? Do I share too much? Do I give them too little or too much freedom?
I have said it before. Some days I wish I could just do things the way the masses do. It’s hard to go outside of the box, outside of the norm, whatever that means. Ultimately as an attachment parent/ unschooler, this movie didn’t have quite so much to do with me, and I can confidently say to all the family that thinks I’m crazy that I have never made any of my children kill a deer with a knife and their bare hands, but there are certainly plenty of parallels.
As an immigrant living in a remote village in a lesser developed country, I mostly identify with the bits about removing my kids from the toxic mainstream culture. I’m not terribly worried about teaching them to survive post apocalypse because I just don’t think it’s going to come to that. I don’t really worry anymore much about what they eat, but I used to stress about that a lot more. These days I fall more into the let them learn to regulate themselves camp. I definitely fell in line with a lot of the political discourse, though I don’t really go quite so deep as they do. I definitely understand about the family interactions part.
As an unschooler, I was a little disappointed with the portrayal of homeschooling. It’s not that I think people shouldn’t do traditional homeschooling. It's just that I think it exacerbates this idea that those of us who don’t put our kids in school have to prove something which is deeply tied to the very mistaken belief that people’s worth is tied to their money or education. Of course it was a mainstream movie, so I really felt it delivered a good bit all things considered.
Something I learned years ago when I was staffing at the Sudbury school is that everyone has their thing. Some of us feel strongly about food. Some feel strongly about vaccinations. Some feel strongly about materialism. Some feel strongly about religion. Some feel strongly about the socio political situation. Some feel strongly about an impending apocalypse. I feel strongly about many of these things, but mostly about education. That’s my thing. To me that is the key.
Mostly I’m glad they went back in the end. I’m glad that, even with all the challenges and frustrations, they chose to live that life outside the mainstream. Again, really disappointed that they were going to school, but like I said, we all have our thing.
So, I’m curious what all of you thought. Did you think it was a great film? Do you think it portrayed alternative parenting in a positive light, or did it cast us as freaks? Was it accurate? Was it helpful? Please share and talk to me about your thoughts. I really loved this movie and really want to talk about it.
Pics are mine and pixabay.
Superfantastic movie that makes one raise a lot of questions on his/her own approach. My children love the movie so much they must have seen it +5 times but then again, we also don't have television etc etc :-). Much love
I really thought it was excellent. I was pretty raw when I saw it, and like I said I thought a few things were a little off, but overall really incredible. Glad your kids like it too. My 19 yo and I have started the 5 yo saying "Power to the People!" I thought the opening scene was maybe a little intense for my littles, but they seemed mostly ok after we established that it was not a reindeer. Much love right back to you, and thanks for stopping by to comment.
This shows that we are all "feel strong about different things". I did not react to the killing of the deer in the beginning. I grew up on a farm and killing animals was a normal part of life (though not usually in the same way as the movie shows). And as a side note that you do not have to share with your kids: raindeer meet tastes really good!
I've heard that but definitely won't share with them. They immediately wanted to know if it was one of Santa's reindeer. I love the idea of being more in tune with my food, and I think that really does mean a certain comfort with killing animals, but I just have a hard time getting past it. Ultimately I respect it but am perhaps a bit squeamish and a bit sentimental.
I also really like this movie!
One of my first thoughts, when I heard about it was: Does this movie portray homeschooling in a way that makes it easier or harder for me to explain it or defend it if necessary? After watching it I think it does more harm than good to homeschooling. Like most movies, it brings everything, including homeschooling in this case, further than what is realistic. Capitan Fantastic certainly educates his children, but they are at the same time completely ignorant of current human culture, and could not function in the world as it is today. That makes it an interesting movie but not a good example of homeschooling.
I like that the movie shows this struggle and that their extreme level of education still lacks many important life skills. I also like that it ends with a compromise where they don't give up all of their former life but no longer hides from the world.
Do I like that they end up going to regular school? No, not really, but I think that it is the easiest way to show them coming out of hiding and start learning how to function in "normal" life.
I think you're right. It's a way extreme example to be sure. However, I feel like it is taking a little more of a shot at preppers specifically, as opposed to all homeschoolers. Like I said, though, I do hate that whole premise of us having to prove it's a valid option by showing our kids are smarter. For me that's totally beside the point. Freedom and separation from toxic mainstream culture and learning to be responsible and guide your own way are the main points for me. It would be nice, though, if there was a portrayal of homeschooling as it really is with kids interacting with lots of people of all ages all the time.
YES,education is the key.
I agree. I think the entire education system needs to be scrapped and started over from scratch. I'm pretty passionate about it.