Punished by Rewards

in parenting •  3 years ago  (edited)

bribing a toddler

When we use rewards or punishment, we are controlling the child's behavior through the creation of comfort and discomfort. We think that it will teach them how to do things "right" or "better".

In reality, use of punishment and rewards only serves to steer the child away from discomfort in order to please someone other than themselves, i.e., you.

Being able to sit in discomfort is part of being a successful human. It is a useful skill for the many challenges we face in life. When we use comfort or discomfort as a form of control, we reduce the level of tolerance to discomfort the child may have developed.

Solution?

Ask ourselves, "Do I really need to influence the child to do/not do this thing? Will the natural consequences of the child's actions be sufficient to teach the lesson while not causing harm?"

https://www.clearsay.net/punished-by-rewards.asp

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