There's No Love in Leather

Parenting. The very sound of the word vibrates with responsibility and every emotion present in the human experience. It is the function of your existence to drive your species, while simultaneously attempting to mold the best possible reflection of yourself; your child.

There is nothing in the universe quite like being a parent. It is a unique phenomenon, intrinsic to the nature of life itself, to have the ability to look into another human being's eyes and recognize their essence because it is derivative of your own. It is a gift exclusive to a parent and their child; an unconditional, primitive, fiery, instinctive kind of love.

As we are the vessel of the present, our children are the sails of the ship to the future. They are all of the possibilities of one's imagination come to fruition. They are all of the beautiful and astounding things the human race is capable of; screaming, crying and soiling themselves on a regular basis. The responsibility of a parent extends far beyond the grasp of our own mortality. A gift and burden set upon us greater than the parameters of our own perception.

As we advance further into our evolution as a species, we have learned to become more compassionate and empathetic of those that surround us. We have discovered that it is beneficial to ourselves that we treat our fellow man with kindness, love and respect. There is an inherent human desire that has fueled the principle that all men are created with the inalienable right to freedom, including our children.

The more we learn about where we have been, the more we will understand about where we are going. Throughout history, violence has been a predominant factor of reality. Since the dawn of mankind, there have been those who wish to inflict violence upon others for personal or political gain. Even today, in what is believed to be a progressive and modern era, groups of people rule over others at the barrel of a gun and call themselves "protectors".

If there but a single thing we are worth as parents, it is to protect our children from harm. It is a devastating feeling to see your child in pain; emotionally and/or physically. It is in our very nature to reduce the amount of painful experiences our children will have in our care. Parenthood is often a bond so strong, that one would quickly give their own life to save their child's.

While we go about our every day lives, we often come into contact with dilemmas that are exclusive to that of our society. If it is the law that a person must be harmed or thrown into a cage for an arbitrary act such as drinking from a water fountain or smoking a plant, how can a man stay true to a moral and virtuous path to participate in such acts of aggression? A man may even participate in such acts vicariously, such as by voting for a man who condones such acts. If society has created a standard of discipline to solidify such order, it must then be immoral to be a component of such order. A man who harms his child to comply to an arbitrary function of society, is acting solely as a mechanism to perpetuate such order; not as a parent defined in the previous paragraphs. If our children are human beings, a reflection of ourselves, then they must always be treated as humans despite any man-made construct of society. If a construct of society is detrimental to the humanity of our children, it is our job as parents to protect them from such constructs, not implement them.

Violence has a very prevalent feature in that it is cyclical. Most have heard the phrase "violence begets violence". It is not surprising then when a parent justifies using violence against their children who had violence used against them. This very fundamental understanding of violence is extremely important when addressing the topic of peaceful parenting. "I was spanked and I turned out fine!" is akin to saying "I could have been a rocket scientist, but I'll survive in fast food". This is not an acceptable argument, and shows that the parent using such phrase did not "turn out fine" and is only justifying their means to an end.

As we continue to grow as a society, a race, and as a species, information and technology increase exponentially. There is more readily available, free information that can be processed by any individual in a single lifetime at the tip of our fingertips. it is irresponsible to ignore this privilege and take our position for granted because we are too conditioned and pressed in our old ways. Parents who deny the damage or hindrance caused by "spanking" to appeal to their preconceived ideologies share much in common with the hospital patient suffering from emphysema and a hole in their throat because they denied the dangers of "smoking". The difference being the smoker's ignorance only harmed themselves, while the parent's crime is against their child.

If there is anything we yearn as a people, it is freedom. It is something so innate, so inherent to our very survival as living beings that even animals have demonstrated that they understand when they are captive. To experience freedom is to experience being of one's self without threat of violence or threat of conformity to a meaningless construct. To live freely is to practice the task of maintaining non violent principles, much like the subjective task of being a "good parent".

It is the compassionate expression of our own lives that we find the strength to raise a child. We are empathetic creatures who from birth are not programmed with concepts of hate, violence and prejudice. We are taught these things through repetition and conditioning to follow orders and fall in line; to be obedient. These traits and behaviors are useful to those who wish to violently oppress others. This approach is often times found in methods of parenting, demanding through violence that our children follow the rules and comply despite their effervescent curiosity and desire for knowledge; and calling it "discipline".

I can not find a single fiber of my being that wills me to allow my child to become an order following slave, driven by fear and scarcity at the provisions of my own hand. The world is filled with abundance. The world is filled with love and life if only you take a moment to seek it. We are the vessels and our children are the sails. Sometimes the wind blows in different directions, and the best you can do is sit back and enjoy the ride.