The @mindhunter Law Of Parenting #2: CONNECT CONSEQUENCES TO BEHAVIOUR OR ELSE!!
I bet you can get better behaviour from your child, but there is only one way to do it.
Source: thenextfamily.com/
You must make it crystal clear that what they do will determine what will happen to them. No amount of warring words, cajoling or nudging will work unless you connect consequences to behaviour.
So, how do we connect consequences to behaviour?
Consider the following tips:
It can never be too soon or too late.
Even babies begin to learn quickly between what they do and what they get, so it's still possible to redeem that unruly 16 year old, so don't give up on them quite yet even if they don't buy into it all. They'll quickly figure out if there is something in it for them or not - be it something positive or negative.
Always take advantage and time with teachable moments.
Although we don't need to go on and on at them about their behaviour, if you see an opportunity to reinforce the behaviour-consequence connection, then take it. I promise you'll come across at least one time each day.
Watch out for feelings of taking things for granted.
Be on guard that your children don't take everything for granted, and make them work for their allowances and pocket money. If they complain about it call a family meeting to discuss the issue deeper with the whole family, thus reinforcing the behaviour-consequence connection even further.
Keep a check on your own behaviour.
It's never really a good rule to misbehave yourself in public like cursing at road rage, as your kids might start to believe that there are two sets of rules; one for adults and one for children. Remember, they are watching how you react and may mirror this behaviour themselves in the near future.
Bite your tongue when in front of them if you can.
Happy parenting!
This post has been ranked within the top 80 most undervalued posts in the second half of Nov 17. We estimate that this post is undervalued by $7.37 as compared to a scenario in which every voter had an equal say.
See the full rankings and details in The Daily Tribune: Nov 17 - Part II. You can also read about some of our methodology, data analysis and technical details in our initial post.
If you are the author and would prefer not to receive these comments, simply reply "Stop" to this comment.
Oh boy do I have stories to tell! I may have to write a blog about one of my favorite experiences of being an "evil" parent. LOL
Get that "evil" parent post brewing ... :))
Bingo.
As a stepfather of now 34 and 31 year olds, this was my law to prevent the inevitable play the parents off each other game.
Bueno @mindhunter
A SOLID parental wonderwall of unity is what we are looking for :))
That and duct tape occasionally.
Wonderwalls of unity + duct tape = Parenthood sorted :))
My daughter should start applying that to me!
Because mostly I think I am the kid in our relationship!
"GO TO YOUR ROOM WITH NO SUPPER ... OR STEEMIT!" ;)
This year she went to high school, that included hostel... so now i only get speeches on weekends!
Thank the Lord for small mercies eh!
The empty nest hardly feels like a mercy though.
I take pleasure in my transformations. It's all perspective ;)
Absolutely right, and as I said in my post "Let your no's be no", if you do ever allow variation in the rule, make a rule about the variation.
= mass entanglement in rules and consequences = just the way we like :))
Get those bairns under control @mindhunter!
It's OK, I've got 18 years to get it right ;) ... and I always do ... (mostly!) :)