Up The Slide -Children Schooling Parents

I’m PWD (parenting while distracted) at the playground. Calmly enjoying my escape from the slave-job, fielding occasional texts from my one adult friend, while another, very precious friend is taking her shoes off. My parenting alarm goes off and I look up to see it - the horror. What will the other parents think of my child going barefoot? Does anyone else have their shoes off? No! My child is the only one!

My 3-year-old daughter, Kay is sitting on the bottom of the BIG slide, taking off her shoes with a big smile and definitely, no worries. The shoes are off in seconds, dropped and forgotten. Kay's socks receive a bit more effort as they are tossed with effort onto the wood chips (two shoes + two socks = four PBOPTU exercises (parents bending over to pick things up exercise).©
As I realize what's happening and that I'll be spending large part of my Friday night trying to get wood chip splinters out of little pink socks (so much for my plans to sit in a chair and pretend like I’m not really here all night), I blurt out parenting error #334.

I yell out, "NO0oo...".

I know better. I teach parents not to address children with, "No..." being the first word. It immunizes kids against the word. Overused, children learn to assign little importance to a frazzled parenting "no." Then, when you really need it - it lacks power to stop a child cold. Additionally, 'no' is so negative. It's a cancel out, negative command.
So I try to stop myself from saying ‘no’ because I know I can’t enforce it but it's too late, I said it.
Now I look like the big dumb robot parent lazily standing at the edge of the playground using my phone and randomly yelling the word, "no" every five minutes.

Kay does not even acknowledge my feeble attempt at law and order -she is way too focused on playing to care about governmental restrictions on her pursuit of happiness. Even if I could get her attention, the shoe battle is one I can't win. I can't force her to keep the shoes on without making a huge scene and getting accused of child abuse as she screams louder than human or animal - ever. I can feel them all staring at me know – thumbs hovering over 911.

Kay unshoes because it gives her an advantage - better traction walking up slides. Meanwhile, 15 children stop playing, jaws dropped, as they watch Kay walk up the biggest slide in the park - not the slide meant for 3-year-olds, but THE SIXTH GRADE SLIDE. Have you ever seen Invasion of The Body Snatchers? Yeah, the part where hundreds of infected people stare and point at the only person who is normal? Or maybe all of us when we saw Truman get the edge of the set? Kay doesn't notice the sudden stop in play; she is happy. I realize the other children are all from a preschool/kindergarten class and they have obviously been trained to:
NEVER EVER under any condition go the WRONG way (up) on any slide, ever.

Back in '92, little Billy walked up the slide. Timmy slid down and Billy got clipped in the knees. From that day on no one has ever been allowed to walk up the slide again.
Blanket ruling. An example of how schools generally teach children what to think, not how to think. It’s part of the great dumb down. Tie an elephant to a tree for the first 7 years of life so you can remove the chains later and the elephant will never leave that tree - never live life fully - mentally limited and dumbed down, the elephant believes that its entire life can only exist within five feet of the base of that tree.

In a similar way, the mass school-care system leaves little in the way of freedom, expressing individuality, learning about one’s uniqueness, talents and passions.
It is a system that tells its subjects (students)
-what to do,
-what to think (tests and papers are the way a student demonstrates s/he is thinking the right thoughts).
-when to sit and when to stand (similar to ---- church(?)),
-what to read and study based on age, not interest or ability,
-where to go at what time,
-and, above all, BE QUIET (and don’t let me catch you going up no slides).
A perfect system for creating passive, movie watching, emotionally frustrated taxpayers who slowly kill themselves with their forks and pills.

Blanket rules like, 'no going up the slide,' take the critical thinking/survival training out of the playground experience. It’s another example of the ruling class protecting the masses. Trust us, we are the government.
Not my daughter. She is not tied to the tree. She has not sat through 40 hours a week of their indoctrination programs. She runs up the slide and no one can stop her. Especially not me. I've tried to talk with her about this but, it turns out, she really isn’t interested in things she can't do. She’s more focused on what’s possible and having fun trying. If I have my way, she will stay that way.

Sure, I'd hate to see her take a header off the slide, but I would be in error if I thought I were here to take away her ability to choose - her ability to make and learn from mistakes. She is here for a reason. Pain and suffering are parts of this life, as we all know. The value of pain is not only to learn to be quick and smart enough to avoid it, but also to learn not to fear it. Similarly, we are not here to never risk, to never run up the slide, but to learn that if we take a risk, we should accept and (perhaps) overcome the consequences. She will not stop going up slides unless I physically restrain her - which would turn into a power struggle that she would win. She has learned to check if it’s clear before scampering, butt straight up in the air to the top of the slide -squealing with joy as she arrives at the peak. Imagine the leg strength she is developing and the calories she is burning - while doing something she loves. I'm jealous.

If a child is unable to assess danger and timing required a sprint up in between sliders, maybe they should get clobbered and learn that if you want to get to the top, you might have to CHANGE or maybe even improve some things:
get smarter,
develop timing,
develop speed and strength,
stop drinking soda,
lose the weight.
Instead, 18+ years of institutional education prohibit any individuality, expression of joy, freedom to learn from mistakes, or natural incentive to get better, improve yourself so you can escape the chains that tie you to the tress of debt, fatigue, sickness, divorce, apathy and emplavery (yes, it is a word…now). The result: an obedient world of big kids too afraid to run up a slide.
I wonder if those preschoolers will grow up to be have kids that will also will learn to never run up the slide of life?