RE: A Snowflake By Any Other Name
It's really freaking refreshing to read this, as a mother of a 7 year old boy. It's often why I don't do parent meetups, because I often see how differently other parents act in regards to their child's "safety". I'm so far removed from their over-bearing, coddling, control-freak approach that I sometimes wonder if they wouldn't attempt to police my life if they knew how laid back my parenting approach is (see "OMG that's NEGLECT!"). I see that my child is an adult free will, trapped in a child's lack of knowledge about how to use that will. I want to guide him to be able to use that, and give him as much responsibility as he can handle at each stage.
Well, letting him learn responsibility means not handling him with kid gloves and trying to control every aspect of his outcomes and environment.
Thank you for discussing how important it is to MODEL healthy emotions and reactions for our kids. They look to US to see what is something to be scared of and what isn't. Perhaps it's noteworthy that my son is always noted by others as being the most peaceful, calm, cheerful, kind-hearted little boy they know. :)
Well, @dragonanarchist, you are doing a stupendous job raising your little guy from what I can tell. I didn't do the parent meet ups for the same reason. And don't get me started on the PTA moms and room mothers. I tried that and stood on the sidelines watching each one try to outdo herself. That's a nice concept - an adult free will trapped in a child's body. We need to guide them. And it may be inconvenient, but we also need to remember to stand our ground with following through on consequences. I have had to cancel many exciting plans to show I mean business. And I wasn't happy about it either. Thanks for the comment. I wondered if I would make some enemies! ;)
It is noteworthy because it proves you are a damned good mom.
Funny you should say 'I wondered if i would make some enemies" - where are they, the baby-proofing parents? Not one negative ohmygurdyouresuchabadmother!! comment? But how? This is still the Internet, right? Perhaps their overprotection is borne of doubt and whilst those parents may happily look disapprovingly while gathered in a playground gaggle; alone in front of a screen maybe those choices dont feel so certain.
Great piece anyway. The message that we can care and still allow lifes shit to happen and that doesn't mean a complete return to Spartan parenting can't be aired enough.