Life goal

Being on my way to 40, I seem to be stuck in my teens. I dream of being a video game developer, watch anime any chance I get and hang out with my friends playing video games from my childhood. By day I am a software developer, by night I am a father, a boyfriend, and a game developer. This post will be about my daughter, whom without, nothing I do would be possible.

My daughter, 13, is one of the most fearless and caring individuals I have ever met. I know what you are thinking, “Every father says that about their child”, and you are probably correct. But my story is a bit different, and her influence on my life and mine on hers has been a journey.

I met J, as I will refer to her, when she was three years old. I met her mother, well we never agreed specifically where, but I think it was a coffee bar where I was working at the time. We hit it off over time and I was eventually allowed to meet her child, J.

Nervous as hell, I showed up to her mother’s house to meet “the kid” while we all were to enjoy a home-cooked meal and hang out. I showed up with a flower for her mother, but when J answered the door, she looked up at me and said “For me? Thank you!” and snatched the flower out of my hand. I looked at her mother and we had a good chuckle. That’s J though, fearless, yet gracious.

That was about 10 years ago. Her mother and I did stay together for a long time, and eventually, we did marry. We had gone through so many things that couples go through every day but should never have to and over time the weight of those things became too heavy and we eventually divorced. The one thing her mother gave me through it all was the ability to stay J’s father. That was the best gift a man like me could ever receive and I couldn’t appreciate it more.

Three years after our divorce, I still have my daughter half the week, every week, and we continue our journey together. I try to keep her on a path of righteousness, keeping her level, caring for others, but knowing when to stick up for herself. She tries to keep me from being too much of a nerd. It is paying off. I see many other children around who are bullies, selfish, or years younger than they should be in their maturity and J seems to stick out as the antithesis of those children. She goes out of her way to stick up for kids, even if she doesn’t really know them, that are getting pushed around. If she is the one getting pushed around she has no problem sticking up for herself. When kids are crying or upset she goes and tries to make sure if they are ok, no matter if they are friend or foe. She has been there for me, her father, when I am upset, giving me her advice on the situation or simply a good long hug. There is still a long way to go but I feel like I am doing a good job with her, and I feel like those around us can tell as well.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not always sunshine and daydreams, and yes I know she has just started her teens, but I remain cautiously optimistic. If she grows up and matures into a woman version of the child she is now, granted with a bit more desire to be responsible, it will be the single greatest achievement I could ever have in my life. That is my goal, more than making a full game by myself, more than being financially sound, more than anything I could dream for myself. That is my goal.