No, you're not allowed to have a boyfriend until <insert random age here>

Parents always want the best for their children. No parent wishes their children to suffer when they get to their adult years, so they do their best to do parenting the right way.

I respect some parent's decision to be strict in their female child (in teens) when it comes to having a boyfriend. Do note, I'm referring to that kind of relationship wherein you (girl) love someone (either a boy or girl - doesn't matter).

BUT!

I want to share how my parents did the right parenting for me when it comes to that aspect, so that you, parents, will also know how my parents raised me right, even if one of their kids (my sister) had somehow gone to the left path. :joy:

Just a bit of info about by sister: she got pregnant at the age of 17 and ran away from home. Of course, during that time, bad blood between her and our parents was all over the place, and I was 11 during that time. I'll save the details for my future blog, as this isn't the main point of the blog post :wink: but anyway that's the situation.

Here comes me, the 11 year old kid, experiencing some trash-talk by the elders (my mom hails from the country side, and country folks are very against pre-marriage pregnancy). "You'll end up like your sister" is what one of my aunts told me whenever she gets drunk. It really makes me sad, because first of all, I am not my sister. I do not wish to do what she did because I do not want to make my parents feel bad. They're working so hard for me to have a very good life - they don't deserve that kind of problem.

Most parents that would experience this surely will impose strict curfew hours and no-boyfriend policy. It's understandable - they would want to prevent the same situation from happening to their other child.

Know what my parents did? They educated me, at that young age, what happens when you get knocked up that young, and what lies ahead. That raising a child is not easy. That earning money is not easy. That your freedom is limited since you have to prioritize the child first than yourself. At that time, I have not fully understood what they meant, but I never liked kids (I never liked the thought of having a younger sibling) so I just thought, "I'm not gonna be like her, she's into kids - but not me".

Growing up to be a teenager, one thing my parents were thankful about me is that I am not over-friendly (I don't know if there's such a word), which means for them, there is a lesser peer pressure on me going out to wherever. I'm also a home-buddy type of person, which is totally opposite from my sister at her age. However, more trash-talk from my aunt happened every time I spend vacation in our province. Being teenager as I am, fueled by teenage angst, I was so fed up with her that I became very decided to prove her wrong, that I will not end up like my sister.

My parents never imposed a curfew (of course, because I'm a home-buddy) nor implemented the no-boyfriend policy. I was (and until now) very open to my mom, that I let her know who was courting me, who I accepted as my boyfriend, and she was (and until now) very open about it. One time in our mother-daughter bonding time, she told me, "I don't want you not to get married, but I want it to happen at the right time - when you're having a stable income and a good partner. Be careful who you choose, because at the end of the day, that relationship experience will help you grow as a person and become mature." I was very happy that time, because I realized I was very blessed to have a very open minded mom. She doesn't believe in being too strict because based on her experience with my sister, the more she became strict in the rules, the more my sister became hell-bent in breaking them. She decided to apply a different method with me, and that is by presenting me the reality and making me understand what is going to happen if I were to go the same path my sister took. As for my dad, he and I don't really share the bond as I do with my mom, but during that time, so long as my grades are excellent (by excellent, it means no failure), he doesn't mind what I do.

Now, I am 24, and yes, still single (but committed in a relationship) and no kids (except my feline furrbabies), plus with the right mindset of not being pressured to get married just because women at my age (mostly my high school batch mates) are now getting married (or have kids already). I have done it - I have proved to them people in countryside that I am not my sister - especially to that aunt that kept trash-talking me.

Right now, I don't have intentions of getting married because life is so feckin hard, and we belong to the middle class family, which means I have to earn my keep and have my fair share of financial responsibilities at home. Plus, I do not want to handle any more problems than I already have - marriage is something not to be taken lightly, and I do not want to lock myself in that indefinite prison without getting the right mindset, maturity and financial resources. I want to make the most out of my life, meet my goals, before anything else.

As you can read, my parents did a wonderful job in setting me on the right track without hurting my feelings or making me feel oppressed by those harsh and strict rules. Now, I am not saying that imposing strict curfews and implementing no-boyfriend policy doesn't work. What I want you, parents, to know is that your child's mindset really depends on how you raise your child, and that it is best for both of you if there is an open communication and no tension between you and your child. Take it from my parents, they raised me in their own right way :wink: