Looking Back/ Look Forward SBI Contest #7 - #ccc 2.03 - IndependencesteemCreated with Sketch.

in #palnet5 years ago (edited)

Last time I wrote I was looking forward to a good night rest. Although I had my waterbed the good night rest never came.

I never had one good, refreshing night rest.

My days and nights are filled with pain and allergies. I wake up exhausted and need time to recover.

Every step I take cost me more energy as I have. I do not know where to get the energy, out of what if lifting a fork and holding my mobile phone is already a task. In short: it all is too much for me.

Is there anything to look forward too?
Perhaps it is the time I no longer need to take care of. Care of my children or anything else. I am a mom for over 35 years now and before that, I had siblings and a mother to take care of.

My entire life I had and have to get out of bed because of someone else.

Out of bed means at 5 or 5:30 am, summer and winter, 7/7.
Someone has to be at school, picked up, all those Saturdays I have to show up at school because it's an extra school day or there is a celebration again.

All those people expecting me to show up, scheduling my calendar.
All those nights people wake me up to ask me something or, as I still was a kid, to scold at me, beat me up, make me do things kids shouldn't do.

I am looking forward to being alone.
Alone in my cave.
My kids having their drivers license (first priority) and a job. It means independence and freedom for them and me.
So, that is what we will work towards too. No brackets for the time being. As I had to visit the dentist yesterday I was shocked about the prices but more about all the risks taken and the fact I am responsible if something went wrong. They blame me, no matter the dentist is promoting himself because he ended his study cum laude.

My children their teeth are not all straight in a line but they are strong and healthy.
Never had 1 single hole in it. That means a lot today.
What will happen if a dentist is starting to take parts of it to make room, the brackets damage the teeth, color them, break them, if all the teeth are loose?

Be happy not to walk on my shoes. You fallen a long time ago.

Looking Back/ Look Forward SBI Contest #7 - #ccc 2.03 is hosted by @nmcdougal94 see here how to join.

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I'm so sorry to hear that things are going so rough for you lately. Perhaps you should look into finding some hobbies that you enjoy that aren't particularly energy intensive? Like building puzzles or crocheting? It may help you relax some, and maybe that will help with the sleeping.

I'm glad to hear that your kids teeth are cavity free at least. You're right, that definitely is an accomplishment nowadays.

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