We need to get the orangutans addicted to cigarettes ...

codemonkeyindy (3)in #orangutan • 6 years ago (edited)

I was listening to some "smart dudes" today on YOUTUBE, and one of them remarked that 100,000 orangutans were missing. His implication, based on voice, tone, use of language, is that they were dead ...

But what if they're not dead? What if they're just off some place, planning some shit?

What might bring them back? - cigarettes ...

If we get orangutans addicted to smoking, then they will come back for more - this will make it easier to attract them, control them, keep them from doing something crazy. Perhaps we get them shooting up heroin ... who wouldn't pay to see that? Tens of THOUSANDS of apes, in the jungle, shooting up heroin ... and they'll stay for the heroin ... the fans ... and the orangutans.

Sure, you'll call me a monster, but am I?

What if I told you that these "missing" orangutans were really forming underground armies? Forming brigades? Arming themselves with bat and chain and shivs? This would be scary, right?

So we have no choice ...

(we must get the orangutans addicted to cigarettes ... and ... maybe 'smack')

(it's the only solution left)