Lady of Eternity

Thanks to the love of the Lady of Eternity to Lorca, she finally found his collection of poems and began to reread. Spain. Something unimaginable and always summer. And somewhere out there on the green balcony I have just Morton's book about Spain.
And outside the window is autumn. Completely I felt it in Vilnius after leaving the cafe in the evening, when I looked at the gray sky and suddenly it became clear - the wind is cold, autumn, the wind of changes.
but it was our summer. Still it was.
Not so many trips, but a lot of heat, heat and berries. Summer, what is still a little closer to the autumn and which I most like, smells of apricots and rye.
I left the city very little this summer. A couple of times a lake, a couple - a forest. A lot of walking and walking at night. And then on top of everything - Vilnius. 10 days of the city, walks and narrow streets.
But in general I wanted more about the summer. Compared with last summer, there was almost no emotion. Everything went so quietly, measuredly, not at all kryshesnosno. No passion, no change, but just a quiet tranquility on the border with non-movement.
I tried to calculate my losses and losses this summer. And somehow it did not work out. Only people left in a minus. Last summer was some crazy kaleidoscope of face-hand-touching. This summer brought and rooted the sensation of our insular essence in the ocean.
And the people, the kind people of the man who left, sometimes look in the aperture, but never come back.
I feel like a beacon on the island. Someone is swimming, still trying to get into his light. And someone stayed on the beach or just swims the other way.
And this is life.
And the summer was still there.
Yes.
but now it's spring.
Well, hello ...

When I reread my diary a few years ago, I understand that it is necessary to write. Because it is necessary first of all to yourself, for analysis and reflection. And never to repeat what was before. Because sometimes it seems to me that a couple of years ago I was much smarter.