Doctors Running Scared... Drugs; Opioids, Benzodiazepines, SSRIs vs. Reality

I've had chronic pain, depression, and anxiety for years.

I've been on the titled medications for a good 20 years.

With the government drug laws and state medical boards opioid reform, my pain management clinic who provided these necessary medications is going out of business.

I've been to three other pain clinics. They will not prescribe me any of the above titled medications. I believe this is because they don't want their licenses pulled.

To avoid horrible withdrawal, I am weaning myself off of the medication that I have left.

I'm scared. I realize that the medication that has helped me over the last 20 years has also made me who I am. I raised a child; an honors college graduate - a beautiful, well-adjusted child. I had less pain. No anxiety. And no depression. I was happy and a part of the community.

As I withdraw, I have bouts of anger that scares me. Then depression. I'm having thoughts of 'why am I even on this earth?'

What kind of person will I be without this medication? What kind of monster will I be without it? Was my 20 year happiness an illusion brought on by the medication? Does that even matter?

Why are states pulling physicians licences? Or forcing stringent guidelines that scare them to prescribe necessary medications?

Heroin? The heroin epidemic? I have nothing to do with heroin! But will I resort to it or other illegal means to receive proper treatment a doctor is scared to give me?

I thought republicans were less regulatory. Why are they telling my physican how to practice? Why are they sticking their noses in my medicine cabinet?

The heroin epidemic will not be resolved by denying patients needed healthcare!

All I have are questions. Questions and fear. Looks like the doctors are scared too.

~lo-lo