Steemit Open Mic Songwriter's Challenge Week 4 - Original Song "Because We Can"
Here's an extremely rough sketch of a tune written for this weeks theme. Unfortunately, time was short and I did not get around to making a "good draft" of it however, I really wanted to make sure I didn't miss a week of the songwriter's challenge. So against my better judgement, I've posted this in the spirt of things ;)
We’re the ones who go to far
Party all night beneath the stars
Sun comes up and we rise again
To do it all over again
Because we can
Sometimes we don’t know how to stop
Cause when we feel it in our bones just can’t wait to start
You and I can go to far bc where the ones who raised the bar
Ya we’re the one’s we are the ones
Since then & now we don’t know how to fake
Tried to lie once or twice and felt it in our veins
That you and I weren’t made to lie cause we were meant to soar and fly
Ya we’re the one we are the ones
Bc we can’t stop
Being who we are
Oh no we can’t stop
Reaching for the stars
Oh no we can’t be stopped
Rooting for the cause
Oh no we can’t stop
Reaching for it all
Because we can
Yeah, man... this is a good one @jaybird! One small lyrical suggestion I thought might help in avoiding a repeating word in the lines:
"Sun comes up and we rise again
To do it all over again"
Might be modified to:
"Sun comes up so we rise and then
We do it all over again"
It might work... That was great though, brother... I loved it!
Excellent suggestion. That part did bother me a little, just never got around to making the version where i’d probably have fixed it , among other things lol
It’s funny bc i was looking for a different word when i initally noticed the reduntancy and never came up with “then” as an opt, just a bunch of worse lines haha. Thx broth P !
awesome yet again JB! You hit the reckless positivity nail on the head with the energy of that chorus. This surely can't be too far off a take you were happy with? The next step is surely just a full band and some screaming solos after that final chorus line. haha! To be honest, I felt the same. This week is the song Ive been least happy with so far, but time is getting extra short in the run up to Christmas....and we just GOTTA STAY HOT on this challenge! Its ALL about the endurance!!! BECAUSE WE CA-AAAN!!!!!
You give it all, every. Single. Time. I think this song is awesome. We have to remind each other that this is a songwriters challenge, so we all present works in progress. If we remember how long it often takes to have a polished, recorded and produced version of a song, I think we all do phenomenal.
Thanks G.
A very good point, exactly why I shared this tune ;)
I figure everyone else is putting themselves out there regardless as well ;)
Are you talking about me? You? Us?
Love this one man. Sounds like a real rocker.
Thx, i guess it’s talking about every1 who at one time or another pushes their boundaries, and in the broader sense, humanity. We evolve bc we can...
hey, did ya manage to do the video yet? i need it! we are close to a finish.
We’ll be doing that today, tha ks for the reminder ;)
cheers brother. we are nearly finished. getting close.
Hey Sent you a steemchat. Need an email address to send the file, couldn't attach from steemchat for some reason...
Upload as unlisted to YouTube and share the link or use the email address in the spreadsheet - dmouse AT gmail DOT com
This doesn't feel as rough as you say, sound pretty solid to me! also.... SO MUCH COOL ENERGY!!! hee hee :)
Thank you! I guess for me it's more the the vox. My voice jsut wasn't cooperating
Oh! sure, that can happen sometimes, but you gave it a lot of oomph, that's mostly what counts!! :)
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STOPAwesome song. Reminds me of Jason Mraz! I can totally hear this as a radio single. Great job my man
Cool I'll take it. Never heard of him, just listening now tho, not bad.
He was pretty big like 10 (?) years ago.
Damn man great job!