I just met a gamer from the middle east.

in ohshit •  last year

There's something about gamers. I think modern video games attract intellectuals who are trying to escape their current cultural environment.

People who play games are intelligent, frustrated and open to challenge.

I'm from New Zealand, and my favorite thing to do it launch my verbosity at foreign people during a video game called tekken 7.

Tekken 7 is very special, because the same people have been playing it for over a decade. It's like bikers, poker players, or lesbians, you all have a certain set of commitments and skills that aren't appreciated until they're at the highest level of skill. See: Valentino Rossi, Antonio Esfandiari and Ruby Rose...

Wait seriously? Ruby Rose...

Hold on, I google the last two, and I know lesbians are on here, because you're basically the only women who engage with reality beyond the ability to woo and accountant by acknowlodging his anime fetish, and occasionally laughing at his favorite stand up comic (because he thinks he totally could have been a comic and it's all that keeps him from hanging himself; which by the way, you already predicted and took out a life insurance policy. I see you, you cold hearted bastard... (call me)).

See how I left that spelling error up there? Acknowlodging? I'm gonna keep that, because I like the red line and it's the better spelling.

Ack - Stands for Ack Ack fire. That's the big orange stars in Tin Tin comics, that our totally hot great grandads dodged in their aircraft. Can you even imagine how much pussy those sky warriors got? "Yeah babe, I killed your enemies in the sky using a fire spitting machine gun on wings; oh you're 15 and have no education? That's a little old, and I didn't expect you to be self aware of your naivety, but you're down to have 11 kids yeah? 3 of them will probs die, but whatevs. Better than our parents 40% survival rate!



Was that a backfire or a gunshot?

4 seconds pass

I... I guess it was nothing...

What are you looking at me like that for?

The foods burning. The smell... god...

What hun?

It's, it's nothing...

I gotta get outside for a second...

You're gonna smoke again, aren't you?

No, no, NO! It's not that!

You're yelling at me again!

Christ! It's not all about you!

And they lived kinda unhappy, ever after, until they died, him at about 64 and her at like 80, terrified by priuses and the internet, and her Filipino nurses. They don't even speak the language, but when she complains her grandkids just talk about cultural relativism. She misses him so much. He would have just punched that 19 year old, ignorant girl right in the...




"Should we hit the call button?"

"Nah, just wait a bit"

"Wtf, why?!"

"You know why"

"Oh, ugh. Yeah I guess, let's wait like, just 1 minute more"


My grandmother is pretty close to dying. I don't know if I should go see her. My mother says she's cold hearted and psychotic. She probably is. I dunno.

You know, when I was writing this, I thought, man, this is incoherent, but that could be my style!

No, the reality is that I have a bad short term memory, and apart from that, I think narratives are a boring form used to lure people into sticking with the verbiage of someone, that was somehow convinced in the 21st century to pick up a dead piece of tree, and have the arrogance to think people would buy it.

I think everything should be video now. There's no excuse. If you have something important to say, and you're writing it on paper, you're like the guy still using tablets after the printing press.

The only reason I'm writing here, is because I'm too ugly for video, and I have the worst, least sexy voice ever.

I know this because when I get sick, girls are more interested, because my voice sounds like it actually came from a man.

But yeah, this guy from the middle east seemed nice. I think our countries have weird relationships with China and the MIddle East, because like 99.99% of us have no idea what they're saying. Their languages are totally alien.


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