This is why intersectional politics leads to incoherence.

https://www.ny1.com/nyc/all-boroughs/news/2023/05/26/democrats-trade-insults-over-bill

O'Donnell's comment was inappropriate, regardless of who he was talking to, and clearly sexist.

Would it have been less bad if his target was a white woman?

Would it have been less bad if he was of color himself?

Would it somehow have been acceptable if he also was a woman of color?

Would it somehow have been acceptable in this professional setting if his target was also a white man?

Sometimes the gender, and especially the ethnicity, aren't relevant to the issue because the behavior is simply bad no matter the identities of the players.

"After the vote, O’Donnell proceeded to walk out of the hearing room. As he passed Queens Assemblymember Catalina Cruz, a Democrat who voted in favor of the bill, he audibly whispered to her: “Grow a pair, honey.”

Cruz became visibly upset, and immediately responded: “That was so disrespectful.”.... I am a woman of color. I am an attorney. And to be spoken to like that, by a man. By a white man. In front of people. It is not ok.”