That's okay. There is no way to prove how fate, chance, or divine timing rules our lives, or if it is the mistake of our choices. All I know is I feel like I wasted years searching for opportunities I felt I earned, but would never find. Perhaps I still have a lot of jealousy issues when I see people who complain that their positions of power, wealth, health, and beauty are not enough. I have always values the underdogs who persist to attain reachable goals. That is the bare minimum I think every hard working honest person deserves.