The Mercenary Series: The Missing Sandwich

In a small town named Boi somewhere far away there was something different about this town. The thing about this town is the locals were kind of strange. The entire town worshiped a special sandwich that they believed contained magical powers. For instance if you were to touch it you would become immortal. Then one day they woke up to find the legendary sandwich, which they named Bob, was gone. Once they pulled themselves together they called me, the one person in which can find almost anything.

When I got to the town they told me what happened. Personally I was glad that it was a more recent case then the dirt that made me fly. Yes this is Disorderly, anyway back to the case I asked around (as I usually do) and found that one newcomer was eyeing the sandwich.While looking for him I notice something off about the towns foundation. So naturally went to investigate oddly enough the town had been built on a old mine. I had looked around i saw a cave in that was nothing special until I saw a body. Then I saw it was the body of the strange eyeing the sandwich from what the townspeople told me at least. I approached the body and the sandwich was no where to be found. However there was a note written in his own blood with him. If you are looking for the so-called legendary sandwich then look for the group named The Tailz.

Once I got back to town I asked around for info about The Tailz ever everyone ran away. I found the town mayor and asked why everyone ran and he said that the group is feared through out the land. So I investigated and came up with they casually drag the bodies through the Badlands just outside of town. Most of the time they would kill one to two people a day with how large they are. I also found out they have about 500,000 members in one spot.

So at this point most of the town running and panicking which is understandable; I manage to find someone by the name of Gerard. Apparently they took something of his as well. I tell him that is will be a dangerous mission and he still wanted to come along. He had told me on the way to their base that they took his way and that he needed to get it back for his brother, Mikey.

Has we approach the base I see they have armed guards on the roof. So we get behind cover then I get out a weapon So I can take care of the guards however what i didn't see is the wires that once a guard get shot it triggers the alarm. Luckily Gerard does and tells me before I shoot them. Thanks to that we have to sneak in. Apparently with how bad these guys do a shitty job a covering all openings.

We got in and regretted our decision to enter. From what I saw on the outside their was nothing then we are met with over 1000 enemies all armed with top of the line weapons. So the smartest plan was to surrender, so we gave "all" our weapons up and with in moments we were cuffed and draged before their boss.

They don't have the nicest boss to begin with has it is said he will murder anyone no matter what even his own family. Then of course he would eat them for Sunday dinner. When we meet him he wants to kill us on the spot; however thankfully he doesn't. He decides to have us rolled in tar then used has torches for the games that they would have THAT NIGHT. Then after that we were put in a holding cell.

A few hours later we are brought out to be rolled in tar. I then ask the guard if I can use the restroom ( hold up one thing you have to understand about these people is they are not the Steven Hawkins of their age) the guard let me go his mistake. When i came out the first thing i did was silently took out the one guard there. Then I go to find Gerard before he becomes The Human Torch. I looked and looked until I heard distant screams then I knew where he was. Now this motherfucker did the worst thing imaginable to these people. He threw them in to the tar then pissed on them, sprayed them with some gas mixed with the slowest acting poison ever and let the hot tar set them on fire.

So in order to find the stuff we are after we think of the only place it could be: in the leaders safe. The only bad thing is its covered in about four miles of traps and other BS. After almost dying 40,000,000,000,000 times we finally reach the safe. It has over 300 different locks that we had to get past. I remember a few of them were blood locks that was so much fun. Once we got the safe open we find... keys MOTHERFUCKING KEYS. So after we both calmed down we started to wonder what the keys were to.

Once we realized the keys were inscribed with something we took a closer look. All along they had the place and type of safe that housed each item like I said not the smartest people around. We searched and searched for each safe unlocking them and taking the items to return them. The only challenge at this point were the people standing in our way. Each safe was guarded by 3 of their top tear mercenaries. Once we got to the finale safe not finding the sandwich of Gerard's way we assume its in the last one. However the people who are guarding this one are accompanied by their leader.

We go through the first three no problem; then we get to the leader. He has armor all around he also can call more people in at anytime. So naturally we go for the best idea at the time which was to blow him the fuck up. Sadly we only had one rocket and had to weaken him before it would do anything. Now thankfully I remembered something form the townspeople one of them said it could summon pickles has minions and turn in to a tank. Thinking this MIGHT work we decide to try it for it is a good option at this point. We agreed to split up so one of us distracts him while the other opens the safe then attack him from all angles.

Surprisingly it was working I managed to open the safe and get the sandwich turned in to a tank. Then he called all of his forces in. We were in the middle of a shit storm. Though the sandwich tank was doing a good job at taking the armor off to show us some weak spots it wasn't able to take his helmet off. We are able to fight off all his minions until we were all out of ammunition. Even Genesis the leaders name. However the sandwich wasn't out of the fight because it hadn't summoned its minions yet so it calls in the Pickle Death Squad. They manage to finally kill Genesis by knocking him down taking this head off. Hence the name Pickle Death Squad.

Once we got back to the town we return all the stolen items including Mikey and Gerard's way. I present the towns mayor Koharu-Chan with the sandwich. Has she replaces it on its pedestal I got to the second in command and receive my payment and tell Koharu-Chan if she need anything else call me.