Finally getting back on to the gym grind this week. Still not really started on my program yet because of a sprain in my lower back about 10 weeks ago (yes, yes, I know, time to go see the doctor), NYE hangovers, and GRE study (I take it tomorrow!). On top of that I'm going to LoveBurn at the end of the month so that's going to mess up my cycle anyway. Still going to try and make it 3 or 4 days a week until next month when I can hopefully really get into it.

Getting back into a proper gym swing also means trying to meet my nutritional goals so that all that work I put in is actually effective. I've always been one of those guys every woman hates. I can basically eat anything I want and not gain weight. Even before I started lifting, at my most inactive and unhealthy I hit maybe 187 pounds (for reference I'm 6'1"). At my heaviest while lifting (July last year) I was also 187. I had injured my arm so I wasn't training like I wanted to be before that and so wasn't in the shape I wanted to be in before Burning Man, so I decided I would do a keto diet and add more cardio to cut weight. It was super effective, I dropped 15 pounds in 5 weeks, and learned tons of low calorie keto replacements for things (zucchini noodles, mashed cauliflower). I was probably was under 170 at BM since most of my calories while I was there came from alcohol. My girlfriend on the other hand, who has been struggling to lose weight for the last two years, did the same diet and lost maybe 5. I went back to my normal diet after and I still haven't put back on all the weight I lost (currently 179), my girlfriend gained 8 pounds just from the holidays. It sucks and I feel bad for her struggle, and it's extra difficult because I'm having the opposite problem, I don't get enough calories to support my activity level. I need to be eating about 3000 calories a day, and she's only trying to hit half of that.

It actually sort of all came to a head this morning. I generally do most of the cooking but since I'm busy studying she made dinner last night. She made some delicious Chicken Alfredo (nothing fancy, just the Classico sauce) with peppers and zucchini noodles. A great decently low-cal meal for her diet, but chicken breast and zucchini are not going to get me nearly enough calories unless I decide to just drink all the sauce in my bowl when I'm done, or eat a ton of it (which I just don't have the compulsion to overeat most of the time, I refused to clean my plate as a kid). It actually wasn't enough calories for her either. I've been coaching her through strength training to help support her gym efforts and we got through most of the workout, but we were both just gassed by the end. She needs more time to get ready and the gym is a few blocks from my job (where she's a 15 min subway ride away from her's) so usually I do extra sets when she goes to the locker room. I did one set of decline bench and just noped my way to the stretching area after. I even tried eating a banana this morning before the gym (although I ended up giving her half because she wasn't feeling well) because I do run into this occasionally, but that still didn't help.

Unfortunately Google isn't super helpful on this issue. There's plenty of articles on how to lose weight, there's a few on bulking up, there's also plenty of people complaining about partners who eat tons of junk and aren't supportive when they are trying to get healthy. There's almost nothing on how to make it work when you are both working on specific, but very different goals. So I guess I'm going to try and put my own ideas out there!

Eat Twice As Much

This seems like the simplest idea, but totally unfeasible. Cutting out carbs often means large plates of veggies to help you feel full. There's only so much I can eat in a sitting. One possible fix here though is to just make extra meat and adjust the ratios on my plate. The problem ends up being we're mostly using super lean cuts (chicken breasts, pork loin) so a 8 oz portion of meat is still less than 400 calories. It helps hit my protein goal for the day (200g) but really I don't want to go overboard and risk kidney issues and such.

Make Separate Meals

This would be highly effective, but also totally impractical. I love cooking and so I don't mind it in theory, but it also means extra time, extra food, and for my girlfriend (the rule is one cooks, the other cleans) extra dishes! One thing that I think I can do here instead though is if dinner is no carb, making a separate side of rice or pasta. I have a rice cooker and pasta is just time and boiling water so just adding the extra side is minimal effort, and the extra carbs at night definitely should help me not be gassed at the gym in the morning.

Supplement Your Food

That brown rice you have for dinner, throw some extra butter on it! That celery you're eating, fill the stalk with peanut butter! Add a ton of cheese to your baked potato or omelette! The gist of this is to find way to make calorie dense (and delicious) additions to your food while leaving your partner's alone. You may get a few dirty looks while you get to slather that toast with butter, while your partner has to use low-calorie jam, but it works.

Make McDonalds Your Mistress

This is probably the method I use most often. I'm not sneaking off in the middle of the night to get a Big Mac, but when we eat separately (like lunch at work) I make it a point to eat calorie heavy things. Pizza, burritos, giant orders of Lo Mein, it's not uncommon for me to work in a 1000+ calorie lunch. When you don't have to be concerned with your partner's meal, feel free to go nuts.

Eat More Often

I'm not a natural snacker, so this one is usually a hard one for me. I got into the habit of keeping cashews on my desk and having a few every so often, but at home it's a struggle. Not only do I not tend to just eat while I'm watching tv, but she does have a snacking habit, so a big thing for her is keeping snacks out of the house. She doesn't like most nuts, so that's a decent option, but they also aren't nearly as good as chips or ritz in terms of deliciousness and snackability. Peanut butter can be your friend here. It's not bad straight out of the jar and it's delicious on a lot of things (celery, bananas, toast).

Use a Calorie Tracker

Even though MyFitnessPal is pretty annoying when you have to log everything, you need to remember hitting a calorie floor is as important as a calorie ceiling. It helps to be able to see what you're eating and if you need a boost here and there. It also helps that even though you are dealing with opposite struggles on the calorie side, you both can bond over how much you hate logging everything!

I'm hopeful that now that I've collected my thoughts on this I'll be better able to implement it in my daily life. Being in a relationship with someone means compromise and supporting each other even when you have opposing goals. Weight and fitness can be a very serious source of tension between two partners (seriously, read those complaint posts!) but hopefully with the right plan you can support each other properly and still reach your goals.