RE: Gay_Beast1999
It’s especially nice to get comments after payout like this, thank you! I agree that Europe has a leg up, unfettered by a lot of our North American taboos around nudity. Nudism is pure and beautiful but with porn it’s a different story.
There is so much violence in that industry and the problems around hyper idealized body types we see in the media certainly influences pornography where a boob job is a way to make more money and be more successful. Like with most media, society is stuck digesting content made by men, for men.
That is why I encourage you with the steamier scenes in your novels. More is left to the imagination and coming from a woman’s point of view, you get to redefine sexuality in a larger sense.
Much of the porn made by women for women is still trying to compete with the mainstream and except for very niche studio, don’t give you an idea of a world where porn is less violent and sexist. Not to mention the bottom shaming and internalized guilt in gay erotica.
Britain was fairly prudish by European standards, but it was open enough to teach me a lot. I mean, you can have magazines with actual pictures of women giving birth (not just illustrations like we do in the US), but it takes a French magazine to show an advert of a boy peeing, lol.
Back in the US again, it's hard for me to find shirts I like to wear because the necklines are so high and choking. I frequently alter my necklines to give me some space.
I have recently been researching other written romance novels - mostly from the 80s because that's what's available for free. ;-)
It has been a real education - the attitudes between men and women at the time (or at least what the authors have decided to feature.) There are many things that were acceptable then that are not acceptable now. I've even thrown away two of them now due to the romanticizing of violent/abusive relationships which isn't healthy for anyone. These things have also taught me about my responsibility as a writer - to try to portray healthy relationships (at least from my personal perspective) - and to show negative relationships as being unhealthy.
I've mostly chosen the "fly on the wall" approach to my steamy scenes - I am trying to shy short of the NSFW tag, but that's about the limit for me now. I don't shy away from some of the nitty-gritty though I rarely feel the need to be explicit.
I read recently the fact that porn is not only addictive, but it's progressive - you need more to satisfy the same "needs." Again, male vs female can be very different (both positive and negative, for sure.)
I've not really exposed myself to gay erotica because it's not really for me, but I am not going to shame someone for going there. (I do have a lesbian couple in my stories, though their next story is currently on hold because I'm working on the generation before them right now.) Who knows, maybe another will make themselves known to me. I just had another handicapped person turn up as well. I don't push it, I let them come to me when it seems right. Obviously, my personal pov can make gay relationships difficult to portray.