Broken Toys | Chapter Nine
Nyssa
His arms and legs were wrapped around me, as if I were the Nautilus and he the tentacled-Kraken, dragging me down into the hot ocean depths of bedtime.
"Theo?" I extracted an arm and nudged him onto his back. "Theo? Wake up."
Ever since I headed off to bed, my mind has been at war with itself. I couldn't let Margot win by scaring me off- my main reason to get away from Theo is because of his treatment of me. Granted, she was the one who taught him to fail at relationships, but he should have learned something in therapy by now. Margot wouldn't win. I knew it in my bones. But while I may be my husband's happiness, he's not mine, not any more. Not when I say I need room and he responds by smothering me.
With sleepy eyes, Theo peered at me through the dim light of our bedroom. "What, Nyssa?"
"I'm sorry to wake you, but I can't sleep until I tell you something."
"Can it wait until morning?" His voice was gruff in a way that seemed to warn me of waking this particular bear.
If I waited until dawn, I'd lose the nerve. "No, it can't. I'm sorry, Theo. But if you need Margot in your life, then you don't need me. I'm a want, not a need."
When that sunk into his mind, he sat straight up and asked, "What do you mean? I need you, Nyssa."
"I don't want to say it's her or me. You made that choice already. If you wanted Margot in your life so much, maybe you should have married her instead of me. As it is, I don't feel like much of a participant in your life, not like you made yourself to me. You have the right to vent, I don't. That basic right of humanity, stripped from me. I'm to be an arm ornament, a plaything without a voice. That's not a happy life. I don't want that for my life."
"What do I have to do to keep you? Did you want me to get you a job somewhere? Or a shopping trip in London?" His whisper seemed to echo in the silence of night. Whatever came out of my mouth would not please him, I knew that. But it had to be said.
I mustered up my courage and said as gently as I could, "Recognize how detrimental Margot is and cut her out of your life. Get a new therapist. Do so knowing I still want a divorce." A deep sigh escaped my lungs. "I don't like hurting or disappointing you, Theo, I really don't, but the life you live is not the life for me."
He didn't get sad, nor mad, nor glad. Theo sat next to me and balled his fists up as he swallowed his emotions. "Is this because of her?"
And in the moment I couldn't help but think that Captain Obvious isn't wearing his cape today. "Yes. And no. But mostly yes. She did terrible things to you and you still seek her approval. That's not healthy. That's disturbing. I'm done being disturbed and a punching bag by proxy."
"You can't leave me, Nyssa. You can't."
"I can, Theo. You haven't given me much reason to stay."
With a dramatic gesture, his arms swung about as his temper flared. "Not much reason? Are you insane? Wealth isn't a valid reason to you? Do you know how many women would give their left leg to be with me, to have the opportunities you have? I could use their faces as toilet paper and they wouldn't complain because of the power I have. That never seemed to sink into your head, did it? You want your freedom? Til Death Do Us Part." His voice escalated and I hoped Kahan could hear. Or at least the security camera's audio feed, get him on record threatening me. Because there's no way that his last sentence was not a threat.
I straightened my back and thrust my chin out. "Are you saying the only way I can leave you is through death?" Tried not to focus too hard on that sentiment. The thought that the man I married could have contemplated my death didn't sit well.
"That's not what I said."
"Could have fooled me." I threw aside the Egyptian cotton bedclothes and stood up. "It was shitty of me to bring the topic up at this time. I apologize for that. But I'm going to feel the same way in the morning. I'm sorry it didn't work out, Theo."
That snapped his focus onto me in a predatory way. He got out of bed and stalked to me. I turned to make for the bedroom door, but he grabbed my by the arm and held tight. "It only doesn't work out if you don't try."
I wouldn't let him see the tears welling in my eyes. He scared me when he puts his hands on me aggressively. Tried pulling my arm from his grasp, but he only tightened his grip. "Let me go." I meant it in so many ways. My arm, my life- they were intertwined in this moment. My husband's face, mere inches from my own, began to change as his anger peaked.
"I will never let you go. You are mine, body and soul. I paid for you. Given you a life you'd otherwise never have. You can't leave just because you want to, you leave when I say you do." With that spat into my face, he slapped me hard.
Heat and pain swelled in my cheek, but I wouldn't back down. "That right there is the number one reason why I want a divorce. Right there! You said you'd change? Maybe only your underwear, because you are the same abusive jerk I married."
The words were growled and seemed to shake him. Me having a backbone? Inconceivable!
"I'm sorry, Nyssa. I just get mad and see red. Forgive me? Please?"
Could he not see the cycle he was in? Could he not figure it out? Everyone said he was brilliant, intensely intelligent. Maybe in a cold, serial killer way. I'd rather be with someone who could utilize empathy. That, not wealth, was a turn-on to me. "If I forgive you Theo, you'll only do it again to me. Over and over. We're in a cycle. I want out."
His normally attractive face scrunched up into an almost monster-like way. My heart pounded a frantic beat as his fingers dug deeper into my upper arm. The last thing I saw was his balled fist coming toward my face. My last thought, I'll escape, if its the last thing I do. I heard the sound of a coconut hitting a burrito.
Then the black void swallowed me.
When I awoke, I was nude, sitting down in front on the St Andrew's cross in my husband's torture chamber. My jaw hurt, and it felt like my bottom lip was swollen. Each of my arms was secured by leather straps to the lower section of the wooden cross.
My feet were propped up with a black leather ottoman, in such a way that my knees nearly touched my ears. Cuffs held my ankles in place, and the ottoman had carabiners and chains, so that I couldn't shift my position. With my ass pressed against the ominous foot rest and my feet secured by steel, I knew there wasn't an escape possible, not yet. My heart thumped a rabid tempo as I watched my husband.
Theo strode back and forth in his favored ripped jeans while his cellphone rested on the ottoman between my feet. It was on speaker phone, and I could hear that bitch talking to him.
When he noticed I had awakened, he said, "She's ready to listen to you, Margot."
Like Hell I was. "Theo, you better untie me now. This is only making matters worse." My anger started to boil. Not sure what was worse; being in this room without my consent or the Margot was in on this fucked up scene.
Her voice rang out. "Nyssa, listen to me. You may have this crazy notion that you're his equal. You are not. Without him, you are a nobody. Theo was the same way when he was first being trained. I've told him before, the correct punishment is motivation for good behavior. Obviously he has a soft spot for you, Nyssa, else he would have utilized the same punishment I used on him. Now, you've given him no choice but to correct your behavior."
"Margot, I just want you to know you can drop dead and go to Hell at any time. Oh, and fuck you for abusing a troubled kid. Piece of shit pedophile. I hope a pissed off gorilla skullfucks you someday."
She gasped. "Theo, ten strokes. If she cries out, add two more for every noise."
The knot in my throat grew and I couldn't swallow to save my life. Theo, however, heaved a deep sigh and fetched a riding crop from the wall. From a drawer of his toy box, he pulled out a ball-gag. Without a word, he strode my way. He laid the crop upon my shins and buckled the gag around my head. The bright red ball forced my mouth wide open and would stifle some sound. I suppose he was being kind in his own way, to keep from adding more blows to my punishment.
His manicured fingertips stroked the crop's handle before picking it up and teasing a line from my knee to my nethers. "Okay, Margot. I'm ready."
"Nyssa, this is for your own good. Remember that. One!"
With that, Theo swung the crop card and slapped bottom of my feet. Blistering pain snaked up my legs and tears blurred my vision. With the gag in place, the squeal of pain got lost in red rubber.
Margot seemed disappointed I made no noise despite the loud thwack! of the crop against bared skin. "Harder this time, Theo. Pain is purification of the soul. Two!"
Again and again, through ten strokes of pain and muffled cries, my husband obeyed that bitch's mandates that he be the master of me. When the last blow landed, Margot spoke. "There. You survived. Theo?"
"Yes?" His voice seemed leaden. He looked disturbed, but maybe that was just my hope rearing its ugly head.
"So, are you on board for my new salon idea?" Her chipper tones acted like huge chunks of sea salt in an open wound. Hate seemed too nice a word to describe how I felt about that sack of shit.
"Sure, I'll have Kimi fax over the paperwork."
"Good. Now go and get some rest, you two. Sweet dreams." With that, a little click and the phone line went dead.
I never thought I could hate someone so much. Despite the beating Theo just gave me, I hated Margot more. If she hadn't done what she did to him, this room, the beating- all of it wouldn't exist.
Theo bent down and removed the gag. I worked my jaw and held back my raging emotions. "Why?"
"Why? Nyssa, you are my wife. I can't let you leave. I'll have no one."
You’d still have Margot, but I couldn’t say that out loud. "You've forced me to have no one but you in my life."
"I don't know any other way to be. Sorry, Nyssa. I want you happy. I don't want to ever bastinado you again. I hated it when it was done to me, but Margot was convinced it'd help you see reason."
"It's not reasonable to hit someone who has a differing opinion than you. You know that, right?" I tried being gentle in my phrasing, rather than snarling the words in my heart.
"Nyssa. You said you'd give me until after the vacation you're planning. Please, give me that long. I want to change. I don't want you to leave, I want us to have a happy ever after of our own."
Tears flowed anew from my eyes. "How can I be happy when you punch me, tie me up, then beat me?"
"Don't put it like that! It was correction. You need to be taught. Once you understand how you're supposed to act, it'll be much better, I promise."
"You tell me that you'll change, yet here you are saying that I need to change and adapt to your wants. I want equality. And to be let go. Please, untie me from this thing."
He shook his head. "No. Not yet. But soon."
Theo turned to replace his torture implements to their resting places. "You're in a time out right now, Nyssa. In one hour I will be back and we will talk. I know you don't like Margot, but she knows more about marriage than I do."
"You know, my mom's been married four times, so that would qualify her as more of an expert than Margot, wouldn't you say?"
"Yeah, well your mom wouldn't understand me and my needs. Silence now. One hour. No longer. Any noise and you'll get the crop again."
I swallowed hard. My husband made for the door and opened it. Turning to me, he said, "Remember Nyssa, who is the king of this castle. It's not you." Over his shoulder, I could see Kahan as he walked past. His eyes met mine and they rounded in horror. His mouth opened into a little O before snapping shut. Before Theo finished speaking, Kahan gave me a short nod, and turned around to briskly walk away before my husband noticed him. I didn't care I was naked and the bottoms of my feet ached horribly. If Kahan refused to help me after witnessing my helplessness, then I'd find a way myself. I know I can't wholly trust him, but he cannot simply turn a blind eye to this shit. I heaved a deep sigh and hoped.
I hated this room almost as much as I hate Margot. And Theo. I used to think there was hope for him, but now... The only hope I have is getting out alive.