Broken Toys | Chapter Four

Nyssa

"Nyssa," my husband called from the bedroom. "I want to talk." His voice gave no option but to do as requested or face the consequences of doing what I wanted.

Immediately, the muscles in my legs felt leaden, heavy. My shoulders tensed, and my breathing quickened into shallow breathes. Those words of his, while spoken kindly, didn't do much to allay the whirlwind of thought unleashed. Maybe I’m wrong, and Theodorus Mezler, oil mogul that he was, truly wasn't an abusive husband.

Maybe.

Hickies aren't bruises- not from a fist, not like I got hit. Punching a woman, that's abuse.

"Coming, Theo." I left the bathroom after splashing cold water on my face, and walked to him with my head bowed down. He always was nicer when I seemed sorry for causing him to hurt me. The more subservient I appeared, the more likely he’d take his anger down a notch. That was the first lesson I learned for dealing with him.

Theo lifted my chin and looked in my eyes. "Ah, my beautiful, sweet, brave girl. I'm sorry I did that," as he spoke, he let his fingers drift over the red marks on my arms from where the rope cut into them. "But when I tell you how things are, the matter is done for discussion. No arguments. You should know better by now."

I tried not to heave an impatient sigh. "All I wanted was to not anger you or Janna at her wedding. Sometimes a woman has to keep her word, too. Honor isn’t just a guy thing. I wanted to honor my best friend on what she considered one of the most important days of her life." I hoped I didn’t anger him. If I could keep him from getting angry, then I don't have to worry about his reactions.

His eyes darkened and lips parted as he replied, "I’m sure she’ll have other important days where you can cater to her wants. She’ll get over it." The twenty-eight text messages sent in response to my husband’s want to leave the wedding early pretty much say otherwise. Can’t blame Janna her anger, at least it’s justifiable. Theo on the other hand, he seems to get angry just because he can.

My eyebrows danced a moment as I tried to wrap my mind around his statement. "Are you serious? You think she’s going to get married again just so she can have all her guests match this time? I’ve known her longer than I’ve known you, and you don’t let me even hang out with her any more. Couldn’t be in her wedding party, even though you had no such issues with her being in my wedding party. I don’t get it, Theo. I can’t even go to the mall with her. She’s asked me so many damn times and I have to keep shooting them down. I feel like a naughty teenager but without the hormonal rush. I can’t remember the last time I got Me Time." I kinda resented the sensation of being a dog on a leash, although no physical barrier really held me back. Just the menace emanating from Theo's gaze kept me in check. I vented the best I could. Here’s hoping it sinks in.

He shook his head with vigor, as if the motions further bolstered his statement. "You don't have to make those choices, Nyssa. You're beyond that. You're mine and I'll take care of you in every way. You don't need you time, you need us time."

"That's sweet, Theo." And stifling. I put my hand on his arm and looked up into that statuesque face. "Can't I go incognito and pretend to be one of the mass of humanity? A costume of blending in?"

"No sexy costumes." Theo cracked a small smile, which fed the fires of my hope. An idea came to me. Dare I be so bold as to ask such a thing from my husband? Would he agree? There was but only one way to find out. Slowly I drew in a deep breath of air, hoping it'd clear the cobwebs of intimidation from my mind. I had to do this.

I was about to bite my lip in vexation when inspiration came. "I was wondering if we could acquire a female bodyguard, so I could go shopping myself and you won't have to worry about little ol' me." I waited on bated breath for his reply.

Slowly, Theo began to nod. "I like that idea. It will free Kahan up for other things. I'd hate for him to follow you into a department store changing room to make sure you're safe."

I tried to hide my giddiness. "May I interview the applicants? As part of my responsibility of finding someone compatible?" If I can ask them questions, maybe I can find one whose loyalty will be mine, not Theo's. I need someone I can trust, someone who isn't already a part of Theo's minions and informants.

"Why privately?" The tone of Theo's voice deepened grew serious. I quelled at the thought of him getting wind of my plan.

"Girl talk. Periods, blood clots, bloating, stuff like that. And when I say blood clots, I mean the type that stick to maxi pads, not the type Kahan gets when he takes a bullet. PMS, PMDD, PTSD, you know, just girl stuff. Unless you want to discuss the benefits of Tampax over Kotex? Or the Luna Cup. That's a little silicone collection cup that covers the cervix and is safer for the environment when compared to common menstruation products. Maybe I'll find someone with knowledge in that department."

Theo's look of disgust spelled out his feelings. He wouldn't wish tampon talk on another male. "Sounds fair."

I smiled on the inside. Men generally hate chunky lady-bits blood.

"So I can have a bodyguard for my very own?" Batted my eyes and plead as sweetly as I could.

"Yes, and only the best for you. You are like a beautiful jewel which must be guarded, cherished."

"I just want to be me, Theo. Inept, clumsy, me." I took a step away from the power emanating from my husband for a breather. Whenever he neared, I can't think. Part of me goes stupid because the man looks like a statue, perfect in every proportion. The other part gets freaked, because Theo doesn't like people not going along with his decrees. A part of me missed hanging out with Janna in our apartment, cramming for finals. The stress of testing goes away. Not so much when it comes to Theo.

"You aren't inept, except when you don't listen to me. Then I have to make you listen." He gave a small smile to soften the blow. His grin didn’t soften it in the least. A day later, my arms and shoulders still hurt from him using me as his toy.

I suppressed my frown. "Could I go shopping with Kahan to pick up some long-sleeved shirts? I don't have any to cover this." Let Theo take another look at the rope marks he left on me. Let him see what his anger did. My backside ached, but it was a dull throbbing feeling whereas my upper body screamed in agony with every little movement. I didn’t really want to go shopping but I wanted to escape the house and get away from my husband. I needed clean air to breathe.

He didn't bother to look. "Yes, take Kahan. He drives."

"Why did you get me a car you won't let me drive?" That truly puzzled me. Why replace my jeep when I can't even drive the nameless beast he gave me? It's the control freak attitude which really grates on my nerves. If I tried pulling the same stunt with Theo, it'd fly like a lead brick.

"Because you are mine. Body and soul. I will never let you go, Nyssa. I never give up on that which I consider mine."
My heart sank. To be loved is a wonderful thing. But people need space to breathe, and I feel like I'm gasping at the last lungful of oxygen before my head goes under the swamp of smothering for good.

I tried not resenting the fact that Kahan gets to drive the car my husband bought me to replace Zippy, my old Willie’s Jeep. As soon as I accepted Theo’s marriage proposal, he took it upon himself to assert himself in regards to his ‘rights’ to me and my belongings. He felt his fiancee should not drive, let alone own, a relic of the automobile world, most especially if it were functional rather than fabulous. So Theo bought me Land Rover, with lower clearance than my Jeep, meaning I couldn’t go driving unpaved mountain roads as my zen anymore. My favorite haunts, off limits— which changed after my marriage. When I said, “I do,” he banned me from driving alone, at all. So I couldn’t resent stewing in the "Nyssa Gets Treated Like An Imbecile" soup. I asked Kahan, "Can we pull over? I want to drive."

Kahan cleared his throat and looked uncomfortable at my request. His military precision with handling the car seemed interrupted by the tiny swerve he made when the question sunk into his brain. "I am under orders from Mr. Mezler to be the only driver." His gruff voice seemed small within the confines of the SUV as we drove down 202, one of the veins of Redmond, Washington.

Clearing my throat to give me a moment to form a response. "My husband bought this car for me. To replace the one he had you sell. I drove that car all the time without maiming or killing anyone. Why the hell won't he let me drive my car?" The last sentence was uttered as a rhetorical question. Didn't think Kahan would answer, at any rate.

When Kahan did reply, his words didn't cease to amaze. "Just between you, me, and the steering wheel, he won't let you drive because you aren't submissive enough to suit him. Compared to his playmates in the past, you've got a backbone that needs some bending. You want to drive? Then learn to wear the mask he wants to see as you." He then frowned. "If the boss knew I said that, my ass would be without a job."

I understood what he meant. "I won't tell him. You have my word."

Kahan gave a short nod of his clean-shaved head. "I don't mean to get into you or the boss's business, but I hear things. Not things I'm comfortable with. I get paid for my compliance of his orders. It's generally straight forward. If you don't mind me saying, the ladies before you were of a different sort. They knew his game and could play along for shits and giggles. You... I’m not sure you’re that kind of person. I may be his employee, and there's not a lot I can do without losing my job and getting blacklisted. I will do what I can, but I can't make promises. I got a daughter to support, and I need this job."

Although he didn't say anything of the like, the tone Kahan used made me think my husband somehow has Kahan's family under his thumb. It wouldn't be out of character for Theo to use any means at his disposal to keep someone in line. As the treed city line of Redmond passed by the windows, I responded, "I know about you and Maisie. And I won’t tell Theo. He’d use it as leverage.” Kahan frowned and nodded. “I asked him if I could have my own bodyguard and companion. That way I don't have to drag you shopping with me since I can't even shop alone." I heaved a sigh of irritation, miffed that this is what my life has become. Kahan said as well as he could that he'd help a little in regards to dealing with my husband. Might as well put it to the test. "You would know this sort of thing. What are the top personal security companies, and what should I look for when it comes to picking one out?"

"You need to look at this tactically, Mrs. Mezler. You need someone with skills. A military background is best- they got all sorts of special survival training. Make sure your prospective companion is open to teaching you some self-defense- you never know when you're going to need that." With your husband went unsaid. Before I could speak, Kahan carried on. "Top company in the business is Xerxes, Inc. Anyone hired from Napart is already an employee of Mezler Industries. That's a little umbrella entity of his. So, if he suggests someone from there, pass it by if you can."

What I found amazing about this conversation other than Kahan showing me a side of him I never knew, was his willingness to help me get around my husband's controlling nature. Granted, this came at a cost of not causing Kahan to lose his job, but I respect that. If my only ally in the house against my husband is the man paid to keep my husband out of trouble, then fine. As much as my shopping outing has surprised me, I found it inspiring, nay, empowering to know that when in those walls, at least someone gave a crap about me.

Kahan drove to Redmond Town Center, which is as mall-like as one can get. I smiled. "I am tempted to not hit the department store and just go window shopping."

He shrugged his broad shoulders and smiled. "Frankly, Mrs. Mezler, if you want to wander around, feel free. I want to go get some gifts for my daughter. Do whatever shopping you like and we can reconvene at the food court in about eighty minutes, if that's okay with you."

Okay with me? I've been craving some me time. At least Kahan understood. "This isn't something my husband can find out about, is it?" My mind flew at what the possible consequences could be, nothing good for certain.

Kahan shook his head. "No. Unless he's had the car followed, then it's unlikely he'll find out. He trusts me implicitly." He parked the car and got out. Opened my door for me, and shut it once I vacated the vehicle. The alarm beeped as he armed it via key chain remote, and we walked into the shopping center. He turned right, toward Uncle's Games and I headed to Ann Kahan. I didn't care that my husband viewed anything bought at a mall as being inappropriate for his wife to wear, being that it was mass-manufactured with the potential of orphaned textile-worker children's tears woven into the fabric's weft. I think it was the mass-manufactured part that bothered him most.

Wealth has its place, I'd be a hypocrite to say that it doesn't buy certain happiness. But I'm not the kind of person who'd get all hung up over an oxford shirt hand sewn in Paris versus one made on an industrial sewing machine. Ann Kahan had what I needed, and I found a selection of sheer scarves and a few turtle neck shirts to cover the bruises on my neck left by my loving husband. Paid and left the store with plenty of time before the food court rendezvous. While I was contemplating getting a pretzel from Auntie Anne's, I heard a voice from behind me call out my name.

"Nyssa?"

I turned around and saw Hans Zivi, his camera ever in hand. "Oh hi. Long time, no see." I offered a smile to go with my words. High school crush, nothing more than a friend. Hans went off to art school while I pursued Tudor history with a fervor. Mutual friends meant we hung out occasionally, but it was always platonic. Hadn’t seen him since before I got married. Damn, almost a year! He still seemed very much the artsy-boy-next-door, with shaggy brown hair, a black Guybarra shirt and tight black jeans. Red chucks seemed a beacon of color, unsullied by daily use. He didn’t have his Pentax P30t, his favored camera back in the day. His replacement was a sleek digital contraption with the strap around his neck, both the body and lens supported by his hand. He gave a brief grin, revealing his even white teeth. "Well, I would have apologized to you before, if I thought your husband would allow me five minutes of your time without him eavesdropping. He hiding behind one of the mall maps?"

I felt blood rush to my face. "No, he's not here to the best of my knowledge. Just his bodyguard who is giving me some time alone." Hans drunkenly kissed me at the party to celebrate getting my masters, and while Theo and I weren’t together at the time, Theo asserted himself and led me out of the situation like an errant white knight. I still have mixed feelings about it— I liked the kisses except that they were beer-flavored. And I would have continued kissing Hans, because I really liked it and liked him. I didn’t enjoy Theo butting in, but a friend suggested it was really sweet of him to claim me, like it was a romance novel or something. And yeah, it does make one feel kinda special that a guy liked them enough to say, “Hey, she’s with me!” even though it wasn’t factual. But still. Hans shouldn’t have to apologize over that situation. “You are not at fault, so I don’t want an apology from you.” I wouldn’t confess that I enjoyed his kisses, didn’t seem right with me, a married woman.

"Things that bad with him?"

I didn't want to meet Hans' sherry-tinted gaze. Did he see the bruises on my arm or notice less bounce in my step, from my aching ass? He'd known me for years, known me through scrapes of the skin and soul. Considering how things went last time he and Theo were in a room together, advertising my angst would not be an intelligent move. Neither men need a reason to hate each other more.

Assuming that's even possible.

"I just missed shopping like everyone else. He may enjoy the prestige of a personal shopper, but I still like having a say in what I wear." This was said while I focused on the tip of his nose, thereby avoiding his gaze.

"Whatever you gotta tell yourself, Nyssa. If you need a friend, you have my number, right?" His arm inched toward mine, as if with the intent to give a reassuring touch. But he seemed to lose nerve and his arm dropped to his side.

"I couldn't call you if I wanted, Hans. He keeps a watch on my electronics. He knows the exact amount of texts I've sent Janna in the past six months." I could feel the frown building on my face. Dammit, that sounds terrible when said aloud.

I could see the frown growing on my old friend's face. "Stay here. I'll be back in like, ten minutes." And he boldly strode down the wide, air conditioned corridor linking the stores. So I meandered over to a bench set by some over sized potted plants and waited. Watched kids tugging at their parent's hands, girls walking packs of their friends, teen-aged boys in skate gear, all meandering about in conversation. True to his word, Hans shortly returned with a RadioShack bag in one hand and a cell phone in the other.

"Here. Your very own phone. Private number. I already plugged in my phone number under 'Aunt Jilly' that way he won't get as upset as if it had my name."

"I'll try to make sure he doesn't find it. Aunt Jilly, eh? Well, good to know I have long lost family."

He reached out and touched my rope burned- striped arm for the briefest moment before retreating, as if the warning of me being Theo’s hung in the air. "In more ways than one, Nyssa. Never forget it."

With the cell phone Hans gave me tucked into my bra, I wandered around the mall in a haze of anxiety. What if Theo had others watching me? What if they report that I have contraband, given to me by not just a man, but Hans? Hell would break out. Things would get ugly. Very, very ugly for all involved. Especially me. With a knot of fear growing in my throat, I tried telling myself, "Theo can't trace this phone. You didn't buy it, there's no evidence for him to get all rawr that you exerted independence."

As reassuring as the words were meant, the gadget tucked into my bra could be the equivalent of a noose made for my neck. On the other hand, this cell is a lifeline. I'd need to devise a way to hide it, but I wanted to keep it. No knowing when I'd need it, and if I could get away, it'd come way handy. My mind made up, I went to a novelty store and searched for what I suspected would be in stock- a book safe. Tucked away on my bookshelf, it'd be camouflaged among all my reading material. Finding what I searched for, I decided to hit a bookstore, so that my new hidey-hole would not stand out so much. Maybe find another dust jacket, boring and unappealing to my husband should he get an itching to read something other than business reports or Backpage for once.

Didn't take long, and I was soon laden down with half a dozen books, ranging from Shakespeare to Tolstoy. I tossed the plastic bag from the novelty shop into recycling after moving the book to the bookstore bag. Loot in hand, I searched the food court for Kahan. He sat at a little table, several bags taking up elbow space. He noticed me, stood and collected his sacked-booty. I waited on the outskirts of food court table-maze for he to reach me. Behind him, I saw Hans' profile as he stood in line to get some grub. As I turned, so did Hans, and I caught a thumbs up before he moved out of my peripheral view. A heavy sigh locked in my chest, I turned my gaze to Kahan. Almost positive that he saw both Hans and his thumbs up, I cringed inside as our eyes met.

"I won't tell."

Startled, I replied, "What?" Did he just see me get a thumbs-up by someone my husband black-listed?

"I am not going to tell the boss that I left you unattended. He's going to see all the bags in the back, he's going to ask about them. You helped me pick out the stuff for my kid. He'll be pissed if I shopped on the clock without his consent."

I nodded, getting into the swing of things. "I made you go shopping for your daughter. Blame me, tell him I suggested it. If there's a plushie in one of the bags, tell him I picked it out for her." I didn’t like that I felt the need to deceive my husband. But how horrid is it to never have a moment alone? To have to account for every second not spent in the proximity of my ‘master’ and husband. I don’t like being dishonest, but Theo’s controlling nature and my need to figuratively breathe is what put me in this situation. Even his bodyguard, my babysitter, agrees that it’s shitty. That right there is statement enough.

With a smile, he said, "Yes, ma'am. Can do."

We drove home in silence. I didn't begrudge him driving my car now. Although he didn't know it, he would be my ticket away from the sadist I married. As soon as we reached home, Kahan fetched all the bags from the car's trunk and carried them inside. I took my book-filled bag and went to a guest room. After pulling out the hollowed-out book, I quickly dug the cellphone from my bra and hid it. It lay with all the others on the white-lace duvet covered bed, and looked just as innocent as all the other works of literature. I could feel a smile split my face.

Arms wrapped around me from behind while my husband's mouth breathed heavily by my ear.

That alone was enough to wipe the glee from my being. I sought to not betray either of the men who helped me today. "Just did a bit of book shopping today and I'm trying to decide what to read first and which gets priority on my top book shelf."

"You and your books," he murmured.

"You and your business." I spoke clearly, almost too loudly.

"Hey, I'm here with you right now. That has to count for something, right darling?"

The first thought to pop into my mind was that I had to buy clothes to hide the bruises he gave me. Did I want him here right now with me? No. I'm just glad the mirror in this room is behind me so he couldn't have seen me put the cell inside it's hidey-hole. I swallowed hard as the thought that maybe he did see, and that's why he's here right now entered my mind. Mustering as much testicular fortitude as I could, I turned around and faced my husband. "It does count for something." I offered a smile I didn't feel. "I asked Kahan for his opinion on a decent bodyguard for me. He’s a font of information."

A genuine smile shone from Theo's face. "I’m pleased you are taking control in that regard. A companion for you of your own gender. Or a gay guy, that I could be okay with."

His hand reached out to cup my breast, and I settled into his grasp, thrilled that I had a chance to hide the phone before his hand explored the exact spot it had hid just moments before. The hand trailed from my breast to my neck, which he grasped with what I was sure was just a hint of malice.

"But if you want that companion, you're going to earn it."

I knew what that meant. A trip to the forge of my resistance. "Why? Why can't I have a bodyguard without being abused?" I could feel the tears welling and it upset me that the mention of earning something from him always involved pain. I hated him for that.

His hands fell away from my body and he gave me a little shove. I fell forward onto my books while he stood before me. "You think I abuse you?" His hand on slim hips seemed a menacing pose. He puffed out his chest like a banty rooster, and I heaved a huge sigh. I hate confrontation, but remaining silent isn’t an option. Not anymore.

With a knot in my throat, I replied, "Yes. I do think you abuse me. Why else do I have to bargain for something you take for granted? Can I have a bodyguard? No? I have to be tormented first before you'll let me have one. That is what you basically just said. I had to go buy long sleeved shirts in summer to hide the bruises on my arms—bruises you gave me because I disagreed with you. How long have you been seeing Dr. Glenberry? Because please bring up at your next appointment the tendency you have in response to being challenged by someone." Knowing Kahan gave a fuck pretty much gave me a high and so I let loose all the stuff that had been clouding my mind. "I loved you, Theo. But I thought my love could change you in the ways Dr. Glenberry seemed to fail. But you don't want to change. You want to bully. So if me getting a bodyguard of my own means I have to be tortured, then fine. I'll pay the piper, if the piper demands that payment."

The fists dropped from his hips and he sunk to his knees. "You really feel that way about me?" The tender child in his eyes was a lie—a manipulation he used too many times on me for me to wholeheartedly believe the hurt tone he used.

"Yes. You prove it time and again. I wish you didn't, but you do. You hurt me when I anger you." And I'm almost positive that he'd come up with a comeuppance for me having unloaded on him.

Softly, his words reached my ear, the tone he used, plaintive. "I can change."

Couldn’t buy it although I wanted to, with all my heart. "Can you really? You've said it many times before, and yet here we are."

"I will change. I'll show you, baby."

And in the pit of my heart, I knew it would be superficial at best. He loved nothing more than power, and after having such a heady mistress he could never give her up, let alone for me. I sat in quiet, wondering what would happen if I suggested a separation. I need breathing room.

In a raspy voice, he spoke, filling the audio void. “There are things you don’t know about me, Nyssa. Dark things. I thought if I told you before we were married, you’d run from me. You know I was raised by my aunt and uncle, right?”

Slowly, I nodded, not sure where he was going with this train of thought.

“You know what happened to my mother, right?”

This time I shook my head. His mom was a waltzing pink elephant in the family. Mentioned in whispers and never to me. “No, I know nothing about her other than she died when you were three and that’s when Eva adopted you.”

Ragged cries shook his body, and a part of me wanted to comfort him, yet the more prevalent part wanted out of the room, not wanting to know any more about him because I already know too much. “She was a whore. A heroin junkie whore. She returned home after turning tricks and found her boyfriend doing things to me that one doesn’t do to a kid. She tried killing him, but he got his in when he got the kitchen knife away from her. His blood covered everything in the apartment when they found me, and they only found me because I was crying from hunger and the neighbors called Child Protective Services. That’s my first memory. I got handed off to Aunt Eva who is my mother’s twin. The Good Twin. I didn’t exactly fit in with my cousins. Still don’t. I never got along with anyone. Even growing up in a houseful of people, I always felt alone. Like I didn’t belong. I still don’t. Fuck, look at Ras’ wedding. Both Leda and Ras called me a douche, they both hated when I moved in. Pretty sure we could have stayed at home and not have been missed at Ras’ wedding.”

As he poured this out, I couldn’t help but note the detached way he spoke. “That’s terrible, Theo. I’m sorry that happened to you and your mom.” That she tried protecting him, well, that says something. She cared for him. But what happened to him was horrible, no doubt. But he’d been in therapy long before he and I ever met. Hopefully, that topic had been addressed. “We would have been missed at the wedding. Janna is upset that we weren’t around for the photos.

His tears had stopped and he said, “That’s not all, Nyssa. Not by a long shot. I should have told you long before just how I found kink. When I was eight, a woman moved next door. Her husband worked for Boeing, and she was a part-time photographer. When I was thirteen, she caught me masturbating in the bushes when she was sunbathing topless in her backyard. Instead of getting mad, she paid me to mow her lawn. She was widowed that year. When I was fourteen, she seduced me and we got caught. But from that moment on, I was hers. When I was sixteen, she invited me to a party she was throwing. I lied to my aunt and told her I was staying the night at a friend’s. Well, not a total lie, I suppose. But this party consisted of me, Margot, and five sex toys. She introduced me to kink, and showed me how it could bring discipline to an undisciplined soul like mine. She taught me to focus on things and view the world differently. I am who I am because of her.”

I hated Margot with a deep, abiding passion. I hated that woman with every fiber of my being. To abuse a child and do what she did… yeah. I hate her. “She molested you and you’re still on speaking terms with her?” I couldn’t wrap my mind around the notion.

“It’s not like that. I liked what she did to me.”

I wanted to throw up, distressed by his revelation. “But you were a kid… a child cannot consent to sex or kink. What she did is wrong. And you reward her by working with her? Oh my god, Theo, that’s disgusting! She’s disgusting!”

His mouth settled into a firm line. “She is not disgusting. She’s an artist. Don’t judge me, Nyssa. I didn’t tell you this so you could judge me and her for it.”

“I’m shocked. Like, the very definition of flabbergasted. Again, Theo, I’m sorry that you had a shitty childhood, no one deserves that. But you have a family who loves you and you push them away. And I don’t think I can forgive Margot for what she did to you.”

Theo’s mouth turned into a frown. “Here’s the funny thing, Nyssa. It’s not up to you to forgive her on my behalf. I am perfectly okay with who I am. Successful, wealthy, married to a beautiful woman, and an all-around good catch. And just so I’m clear, just because you’re in my life doesn’t mean you are permitted to dictate who I see or whom I grace with my patronage. You are my wife, and Margot is my muse, and that’s how it will stay.”

And with that, he smiled in that way of his that I once found charming, but now terrifies me.