Bad Dates I've Been On: The Genius Gnome

in #nonfiction4 years ago (edited)

I once went out with a guy because I felt bad for him. He was sitting at the table next to me at a crowded Starbucks and didn't know anyone in town. Somehow I was impressed that he graduated from Yale at a really young age and mildly curious to be talking to someone who was classified as a genius. He told me both of these things early on in the conversation. As far as looks went, he looked like your stereotypical arrogant science nerd -- not that attractive. An acceptable tradeoff, I told myself, for a brain like that. He said that computer programming languages were as lowly as pigeon squabble, which I thought was somewhat funny and anyway, I kind of agreed with him on that. It turned out that we were both in the same club, the one reserved for people who work in the brainy section of hedge funds. My ego liked that.

Looking at the way he talked and sounded, my gut told me he would have the EQ (emotional IQ) of a 3 year old, but I wanted to believe I would be wrong. Can't judge book by cover, I reminded myself! Anyway, I felt I should be nice to him.

So I agreed to get dinner with him at an Italian restaurant in Hells Kitchen, only a few subway stops away. He thought he'd impressed me with his conversation but really I just felt bad that he was trying so hard to get me to laugh at his "stories" or, rather, his over-thought analysis of other people in various situations. Suddenly he looked like a big, talking head and I should have BOUNCED OUTTA THERE!! but instead, because I felt sorry for this autistic lonely person on a long layover in a strange city, I agreed to accompany him to dinner. He said he was hungry but didn't want to dine alone and he would be happy to pay for the company. Plus, he didn't know the city at all, and I did.

Halfway into dinner, as he was droning on about some comedy show, I realized I couldn't feign interest any longer. His talk was pointless. What was he taking about, who cares. His jokes just weren't funny and I was tired of pretending that they were. I was bored. He insisted on being entertaining. He was convinced he was charismatic and charming as he talked. Suddenly I couldn't even make eye contact, lest I saw a yard gnome laughing at his own weird jokes.

Leaving the restaurant, he must have realized that I was glad the dinner was over and a little too eager to get on my way, away from him. He immediately became upset and accused me of not liking him, that I was just using him. Then he demanded that I pay him back for half of the dinner, with cash.

"This is unfair", he stuttered angrily. "You pretended to like me. If you're a fair person, you need to pay me back right now for your half of the dinner." He stuck out his chin and was about to hold out his hand.

Give me back my toy! It was mine and I want it back now!

I didn't have any cash on me so he kindly escorted me to the nearest ATM, where he watched me withdraw the cash and count out his half for him to collect. Luckily in that part of Manhattan, there were many ATM's nearby and lots of people around.

Moral of the story?
Don't talk yourself into being nice to a guy just because you feel sorry for him.
Frankly I'm not sure why one would feel sorry for a pompous pontificating person, but hey.

Older and Wiser
When it comes to guys and friends, I will always look for passion, heart and soul. This guy certainly didn't exhibit any heart and soul ... the closest thing to passion that I could detect was how much he was enamored with his own thoughts and his own thought process.

I took this pic of me back in 2016 when gradient lip was a thing.


Ha! You’d think an hour of boredom would be worth the price of a meal!
I love the lips!

Nope. Contempt costs extra.

thank you for reading @beekerst!

Hey! You disappeared for awhile, I’ve missed you! I have to catch up on your post!

My style is consistently erratic.
There is not much writing for you to catch up on ... I need to work on that!

This is so funny but annoying

I went to a local beach one day I had off from work, there wasn't hardly anyone there, this guy came over and started talking to me. He went on and on about his work, he installed garage doors. When I got ready to leave he asked if I wanted to go out for dinner and a movie. I really didn't want to and tried to brush off the topic, he followed me to my car and asked again and I reluctantly agreed. He called that Friday night and he wanted to know what I was going to wear because he didn't want to feel under or over dressed. He decided his khaki pants and dress shirt would be okay to wear alongside someone in jeans and a dress blouse. We went to Mexican restaurant for dinner, he ate half his dinner then found fault with it and ask for a refund, he even told them the beer they brought him was warm (he drank half that He got his bill reduced then we went off to the drive in. The movie ended up being boring so he suggested we go back to my house and finish off the six pack he bought. We were sitting on the couch drinking the beer when he all of a sudden tried to lay his head on my lap. I jumped up and asked him what he was trying to do and he said well I took you to dinner and a movie I figured we'd end up having sex. I told him he got the wrong impression, he got mad, demanded I give him the empty bottles from his beer (there's a ten cent deposit on bottles in my state) and left. I still laugh to this day when I think about that cheap skate, wanting his bottles, most the guys I know I told that story to said he had you pegged all wrong. They joked if I had sex with him if he'd let me keep the bottles.....hahaha.

@sunlit7 hilarious. So ridiculous. The BOTTLES!!
It is high time to stop going out w a guy just bc one feels sorry for him. Unless you like 🤢 endings. Thank you so much for sharing this here and reading my post!!
You got a new real follower ☺️

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