Firstly, you are really beautiful! Secondly, I completely get what you wrote above. Sometimes teaching something you are good at and know well can be hard and it is not often because you don't enjoy it but because of all the many environmental factors that keep affecting you a certain way. I am happy you are in a better place emotionally now and are happy with your family. Being a mother certainly puts a lot of responsibility on our shoulders but if we take that responsibility happily and focus on it, it becomes quite enjoyable too. :)