Speed-Dating For Dictators Poetry Contest

I apologize in advance, I have zero sense of meter or rhythm right now, the brain fog is thick, y'all. LOL. I kept changing beats in my head like I had Epic Rap Battles of History on a scratched up skipping LP. 😂

This is my terrible entry for @sature's speed dating for dictators satirical poetry contest. If you're a fan of 45 ...why the hell are you reading my lefty ass blog?

The Orange Dicktator is here!
See what I did there? My hands are YUGE!
I'mma show all you countries how Americans lose
Because they elected a manbaby who didn't really want to win
Now I don't know what I'm doing and leave it all to my kin
Sad!

So who's gonna be my enemy
That's what we're here to decide
I need someone to blame on the outside
For things going wrong on the inside
Over which I'm supposed to preside

Is it you, Kim Jong-Un?
You seem really my type
You sure use a lot of hype
Trying to convince everyone you're the best
With your big nuclear missile tests

Maybe it's the immigrants
Mexico's gonna pay for our wall!
It's gonna be twenty feet tall!
Guarded by the feds
With frikkin' lasers on their foreheads!

Maybe I'll choose Earth herself
Gotta open up our public lands
To be polluted by fracking hands
Climate change will kill us all
If we don't get shot first at the mall

I can't decide, you're all so great!
Where's my boys Ryan and Pence?
I need their guidance to choose who hence
We'll call The Axis of Evil to our allies of good
Though no one will join us - not a single one would!
MAGA!