Today I want to talk about a very pressing cultural issues in Nigeria.

MARRIAGE

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Marriage over here is unlike the western Marriage where the couples get engaged and after some time, they go to the church or court to get married and that’s all.

Over here in Nigeria its more complicated because we marry twice. The Traditional Marriage, that’s our cultural type of marriage of marriage before our ancestors were being colonized then Religious Marriage (Christianity and Islam) Kicked in.

The Traditional marriage is where the cultures of the land is been carried out, In some culture like the Hausa culture, the man is been flogged to know if he is strong enough to endure pains and protect his wife. I’m not sure if they still do it tho, I will be focusing on my Tribal (Igbo) Marriage.

To marry a woman in my tribe is one of the most expensive services an Average Igbo man could every purchase for, in his life. Yeah you read it right, You will spend so much that you begin to wonder if you are buying the woman from her parents.
When you find a lady you love, you propose to her and every other stupids that makes you feel like spending the rest of your life with her until its time to get married. Some certain protocols must be observed before you can official call the lady your wife.

1 Knocking on the door (Iku Aka)

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This is the very first stage where the man will take his family members to meet the girl’s family and make his intention of marrying the girl clear to her parents. Less I forget, he won’t go empty handed. He will take some wine, kolas and money. When his request is accepted by the girl’s parents, then he will procced to the second stage… The most stressful.

2 Paying of Bride price

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As a way of showing that the girl you want to marry has value, the man will pay some amount of money to the girl’s parents. The amount isn’t that high, so it wont look like the girl is for sale but other things accompanying the bride price is the real deal. The girl’s parents will also give the man a list of things to buy, like food stuffs, clothes, live stocks, etc. The length of the list given to the man, depends on the financial status of the girl’s parents or rather the length of their greediness. If you’re so unfortunate to marry the first daughter, the amount of money the parents will tax you will be enough for them to train the rest of the children.

3 Traditional Marriage

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This time it may be easier because the bride’s family, friends and relatives can assist the groom to make the wedding a successful one. Well as a man, it all depends on the financial status of the people you have in your circle. If the girl’s family is completely broke, then the whole burden is on your shoulders. At this stage, the girl is officially your Wife. You guys can go do the White Wedding as required by the church whenever you have the money, or you can skip it if you are both atheist. Well, its almost impossible to find an atheist over here. You will be seen as a devil in a human body. Well let me not go there now…

If you should end up marrying a very religious girl then man you haven’t done anything until you do the white wedding.
She will be like “We are not yet married until you take me to my church, on the alter and my pastor will pronounce us Husband and Wife.

Wait a minute, Sister You mean that A man that has payed your bride price, did traditional marriage and performed all the marital rituals according to the tradition of your land is not yet officially your husband unless he weds you in church?

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Are you kidding me???
😵 You will vow to never open your legs for him until after white wedding? 😠
Are you not a Mad person? The most painful part is that you are not even a Virgin. You were a popular borehole before he met you. Give me one reason thunder shouldn’t strike you?
Rubbish! White wedding my foot. This is how we all ended up with English names in the name of baptism. We Africans hardly value our culture but the imported cultures or western cultures, we carry it on our head like dandruff. With the speed our culture is fading away, In the nearest future, the only thing that will remind our children that they are Africans will be their skin colour. That’s if they still have a black skin, because the way some dark girls shower bleaching cream, grow up and turn white is astounding.
What is the difference between the two marriages? Just because a man in white or black costume laid his hand on you then you forgot the blessings of mother’s land?

Common sense is not common indeed. That man is really a saint because if I am him, I won’t force sex on you. No, I don’t have strength to rape. Besides none of us will enjoy it. Rather I will bring another woman home, while you spend all day cooking then come to the room to watch me collecting the sex you refused me from another woman.
You can go report me to your Rv.Father. Another annoying aspect of marriage I hate it most.
You will have a marriage problem, instead of talking things out with your husband or wife. You will report the case your priest, A single man that is not even in a relationship let alone marriage will advice you about your marriage.

Nigerians who did this to us???