I wrote this post earlier but I felt it is still relevant and decided to share it here with a wider audience to commemorate mother's day

I was returning from the laboratory one evening with two of my friends when we saw a pregnant girl coming back from school, I can place a bet she could definitely not be more than 13 years old at most. We were somehow taken aback for some reasons, first, maybe we never expected “this” in this part of the world, secondly, though she looked heavy, most likely in the late second trimester, she is still attending school. Then one of the people with me broke the silence and said she should not have been allowed to continue schooling with pregnancy. Surprised, I asked why? He replied that she will likely be a bad influence on other girls and they may all start getting pregnant, so to prevent that she supposed to be stopped from coming to school. I vehemently opposed this that why should that be and what about the boy that got her pregnant, will he be suspended too?

It was at this point I was reminded that if it were to be in Nigeria; it is standard practice and rule that she should be sent away from the school (public school) and it is very normal, I asked about the consequence of that on her education and future, at this point, I am already arguing against the two of them. They posited that barring her from coming to school is not to stop her education that she can come back when she is delivered of the baby while preventing her from negatively influencing others. They also cited health reason to support their main argument of influencing other girls into getting pregnant.

I rebuffed them with some questions as to why should she be punished (they told me it is not punishment though) or discriminated against because she is pregnant? Since when did pregnancy become a crime? Why is she the only person taking the blame? The boy that got her pregnant will be allowed to finish school or punished too? They opted that he should also be punished (I don’t know how though), I said what if it is the decision of the two teens to have a baby? They replied that they are not yet adult. I went further to explain how that is not enough reason to truncate their education and by extension future; as it is most likely they won’t continue their education if suspended. While I agreed that teenage pregnancy is something that should not be encouraged on reasons of health status to the girl (they told me I don’t know how women feel in pregnancy, the two of them are married), I believe that it is better if the decision is left for the girl to make on whether she can continue her education or stop to continue later, and not be chastised because she is pregnant.

The reality is that pre-marital sex is something that is rampant among high school girls (like the girl we saw) and the ones that got pregnant are usually dubbed "JJC", a term use to denote someone that is not very smart. But it remains unknown why should they be ostracized because of that. There is no scientific evidence in any way that doing this will serve as preventive measure to deter others from premarital sex. Also, public discrimination in barring these girls from school because of pregnancy is what leads most of these girls to abortions (some died or suffer consequences to be discovered later in life) or most not even having the courage to continue schooling after the pregnancy, thus truncating future and career.

The fact is that women strength in pregnancy differs, if the choice is made open to the girl, she may put up the strength to write her final exams (most of the victims are always those in the senior school category), and if the decision to stop was made by her, she will find it easier to get convinced of going back to school than if the decision was enforced on her. Anybody can make mistake in life and pregnancy is not a disease, crime or sin that one’s future should be placed on hold because of it. Some people spend millions of fortune just to get pregnant. Appropriate counseling and sex education can be a better way to curb this menace, but unfortunately, this is lacking in most schools in Nigeria; the private schools inclusive.

This is more necessary as this position is the common reality in Nigeria, and one of the significant contributor of poverty in the country. Most African women are the backbone of the family including Nigeria, with the odd of a family falling below the poverty red line higher with an uneducated mother than with an educated mother. It is thus against normal reasoning why our society treat the girl child this way while the male child involved gets away without any blemish. As a fact, there is no need of overreacting against these teenagers so much so placing their future on it.

Is pregnancy a crime or disease? Even if so, is the girl child the only person involved in the act? Why is she the only person made to bear the brunt? Why should her future be hinged on an event that should literally be something of joy and celebration while the boy child walks free? To wrap it up, the girl we saw was not in any way looking depressed or ashamed of her pregnancy, she was laughing away, hand-in-hand with probably the boy that put her in the family way, looking very happy. I was hoping one day, we will have a society that will treat everyone justly and with mutual respect everyone deserves.

Happy mother's day to all women all over the globe